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Archives for January 2009

Reliving My Childhood

Reliving my childhood?  As if once wasn’t bad enough?

Not that my childhood was terrible by any means, but I wouldn’t want to go back to being 5, or 9, or even 14.  27, now that’s a number I’d like to see again.

Throughout childhood, I dreamed of having a pretty room painted pink or purple.  In my dream, yards of white fabric would frame my bed and canopy my head.  My dreams never came true.

In reality, my room was butt ugly.  Sorry mom, but you gotta admit that it was less than pretty. 

My room was paneled and although I was spared the dinginess of cheap brown paneling, it was paneled nonetheless.  This paneling started off white and morphed into cream with a greenish-gold hue.  Characters, created by deep yellowed grooves, almost came to life when you squinted.  At times these characters scared the pee out of me, causing me to sleep with my light on until I went to college.  Other times, they were useful and  entertained much more than counting sheep. 

I’m digressing in the post.  It’s really all about FringeKid’s room now.  I love her room.

room1

And, although I realize it’s slightly busy, she loves the patterns.  The curtains have jellyfish floating freely in a sea of pink cotton.  She sheets are crazy florals and the blanket polka dots…the reverse stripes.  Over-the-top, but whimsically comfortable at the same time.

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The felt butterflies were a gift and add so much color to the “boring” side of the room. 

I really should paint those doors!

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The hat lamp makes me think of Alice In Wonderland.

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Recently, while in the dollar store, I found the flower garden.  They are wall stickers and I adore them.  The wall was nearly naked and now it’s abuzz in life.

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I want to play when I go into this room.  It makes me want to dream happy dreams.  I finally have the pretty room I always wanted.  I just let my daughter sleep in it…(wink).

The Magical World of Fringe

queenOnce upon a time in a land far beyond the great city of New York, a little princess sat dreaming in her castle.  Her castle, the mighty fortress of the long island, was filled to overflowing with whimsical finery.  The young damsel’s fair beauty, coveted by all in the kingdom despite the scar on her right cheek, glowed from inside.  New to the kingdom, a beastly dog viciously attacked.  Only the outer blemish remains.

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The fair maiden, princess Annaliese, was among the rarest of all princesses.  For you see, she did not have a wicked step-mother.  No.  Her mother, alive and well, loved her passionately and indulged her fondness for all things pink. room7

Throughout the kingdom, rumors were whispered from ear to ear.  The great queen’s hair had suddenly changed colors and none of her subjects could fathom the cause or cure. 

The butterflies carried snippets of jest and jeer directly to the queen herself; however, she and the princess blythely carried out the duties of the kingdom.

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All the while, the king scoffed at powdery pink colors appearing as if the air itself cast fluffs of softness over his kingdom.  He feared his enemies would think his mighty army had become distaff, so he ordered all pink be contained to one wing of the castle – the princesses’ quarters.

Be sure to visit the Kingdom of Fringe tomorrow for the unveiling of Princess Annaliese’s room costumed in the finest pink frills royalty warrants.

Salutations,

The Queen of Fringe

My Favorite Things

I decided to play along with Mama Belle and introduce you to a few of my favorite things.

Here are Mama Belle’s Rules:

What I want to know is 10 NEW (not the same old thing) things you’ve discovered that you can’t live without and why.

I’m talking practical, here.

Not Jesus or your family … that’s a given.

I’m talking PRODUCTS … anything from groceries to toiletries to make-up to shoes. This will help us all discover  new things we may want to try.

 Here we go!  Everything you really don’t care to know.

1.  Burt’s Bees Lip Balm and Hand Salve

burts-bees

Notice how many lip balms I have?  They’re everywhere!

2.  Wrist Warmers

wrist-warmers

I’m constantly freezing!  Despite being warm of heart, my body temperature hovers dangerously close to hypothermia and I need all the insulation I can find.  That’s my excuse for eating  an oatmeal cream pie yesterday.  You must try THIS RECIPE!

3.  Aveda skin care products

aveda-cleanser

I’m not only cold, but I’m also a snake.  I shed my skin several times a month.  For this reason, I need to use Ultra Hydrating Moisturizer at least twenty times daily.  If not, my face resembles a dried out cracked brownie that was left in the oven way too long.  It’s not pretty.  Imagine with me how makeup gets caught in cracks deep enough to house mineral mines.

3.  CLEARANCE 

clearance

I know you thought the fashion industry dictated what I wear.  You’ve pictured me in the hottest New York styles ripped from runway model’s bodies.  I so hate to disillusion you.  Clearance is what dictates my wardrobe.  Terrible, but true.  I walk around in pants that cost $3.40.  My image is forever ruined.

4.  Jones Fancy Sodas

jones-soda

I only buy these for special FAIN-CY parties because they cost more than my pants.  However, I love them and they are a special treat.

5.  Beanswax Candles

beanswax-candle

I light this little green baby and I instantly mellow.  I just want you skeptics to realize that this IS a GREEN product.  So is Burt’s Bees and Aveda!  I’m sticking to this GOING GREEN theme in 2009.  I am becoming environmentally responsible.  My children will have no excuse to blame me for global warming.  Speaking of global warming, is it warm where you are?  Just wondering…

6.  My Boots

boots

They’re not cowboy boots, but I love em!  Notice the stretchy strip down the center…that’s for people with full-figured calves.

7.  Aveda Hair Potions

aveda-hair-care

Taming my hair is a job equivalent to solving world hunger or ending our economic crisis.  These are weapons of frizz warefare and they are walking away victors.  Expensive, but that little bottle on the right lasted one full year.  I don’t feel badly.  “There is a certain peace that is only known on the other side of war.”  I believe Sean Connery said that in The Hunt For Red October. 

I’ve been waiting to use that line forever!

8.  The Letter “G”

g-wall

The letter of the day is G.  Oddly I feel as though I were living on Sesame Street.

*Sigh in relief. 
I’m done!

Tuesday’s Tantrum

I’m a pretty easy going kinda gal. 

Don’t be so surprised! 

I really am sorta laid back.  Well maybe that’s not exactly true, but it takes quite a bit to get me aggravated.  I don’t get pushed over the edge too easily.  Each morning I don my yellow rain jacket sprayed with PAM and flutter through the day allowing people’s rudeness’s, their endless opinions, and their complaints to slide off my slicker.  My key to sanity is a yellow rain coat.   

Ok, so I have moments of temporary insanity just like everyone else, but my yellow jacket keeps me happier and helps my life roll along smoothly.  Whatever works people!

Have you ever noticed that some days prove harder than others to stay chipper.  Let’s just say my chipper left and I’ve got a squawker in its’ place.

Since I can no longer contain myself (the little voices want their say), I’m going to bless you with my list of daily DO’s.

In my opinion, these are not options, except for extreme instances like your house just burned to the ground because of a fire you started in your oven.  OR, you killed your dog because you backed over him after forgetting to close the front door on your way to work.  OR, your kids painted the house with permanent marker while you were taking a shower and when you came out you screamed in terror because you thought a gang of hoodlums had graffitied your living room. OR…

I’ll stop.  I think you get the idea – EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES

Here’s my “DO” list.

1.  DO take a shower daily.  I realize your nose may not work, but you smell.  It’s just that simple.

2.  DO remove the beam from your own eye before you come looking for the splinter in my eye.  Please.  I promise you can tweeze my splinter after the beam is gone.

3.  DO remember to police your own actions as much as you scrutinize the actions of others.

4.  DO stop at red lights.  The rest of us want to escape death by collision.

5.  DO change your underwear today.  It goes along with the shower thing.  You don’t need to understand, just do it! 

6.  DO not tell ME that thirty is old.  Tell someone who is twenty.

7.  DO not ask my opinion.  You don’t want to know.

8.  DO tell the truth.  We all know you’re lying.

9.  DO give me chocolate anytime.

10.  DO not complain to me that you have no money.  You already told me that your savings account has a savings account.

That was therapeutic.  Thank you.  Feel free to add to my list.

I’ll be having another tantrum next Tuesday and I invite you to join in the fun.  I’ll be using Mr. Linky, so post a tantrum on your blog, come visit the domestic fringe, and link -up so others can visit and be entertained.  

It’s the all new Tuesday Tantrum!  Are you game? 

I’m adding the Mr. Linky today because some of you need to have a tantrum THIS Tuesday.

DO have a good day! 

Maxine and My Marriage’s Meltdown

After being wed only a few short weeks and still enjoying matrimonial bliss, FringeMan made the mistake that would end all joy and rock our united world.

It was under warm covers layered in love that FringMan rolled toward me, arms outstretched and sleep still gluing his eyes shut.  Huskily he murmured “Cynthia” while running his hand up into my hair.

“CYNTHIA!”  I screamed jumping up fully awake.  My blood pressure probably caused once sleeping vessels to pop in my head.

FringeMan, no longer asleep and wishing this were a dream, knew he was as dead as the animals he hunted.

“Did I call you Cynthia?”  He asked shaking the fog from his brain and trying to make sense of his words.

“WHO IS CYNTHIA?”  I demanded in a less than forgiving tone our neighbors clearly heard. 

A young bride should NEVER wake up to murmurs of another woman’s name. 

Take Note men, Do Not Call Your Wife By Another Name…NEVER! 

It should be built into wedding vows…”I John Smith do solemnly swear never to call you, my beloved, by another woman’s name.  If I momentarily forget your name due to a psychotic episode, I will substitute your name with Love, Darling, or Luscious Lips.  Another woman’s name will never enter my imagination.   All risk of this name sliding through my brain shaft and out the portal of my mouth will be eliminated.”

Our Wedding didn’t include customized vows.  A mistake I live to regret.

FringeMan’s hair-brained response to his almost adulterous blunder was so bizarre I actually felt momentary sadness at his dim morning wit.

“I was dreaming that you hyphenated your name [a threat I consistently left hanging in the air with the dark clouds] like Hilary Rodham-Clinton.  You know how mad that would make me?  Well, we got our new checks in the mail and when I opened the package, the checks were printed ‘Cynthia Ferreira-Gillepsie’.  It was all because of my dream!” So said FringeMan.

After much grovelling, coaxing, tears, marriage counseling, chocolate, spontaneous gifts, flowers, statements filled with undying devotion, begging, apologizing, and convincing on FringeMan’s part, I finally found it in my heart to forgive this gargantuan mistake.

Cynthia’s are not allowed in our home – still.  If your name is Cynthia, don’t tell me.  I’ll probably hate you by association, imaginary or otherwise.

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He no longer utters words of endearment in the morning.  Always better to be safe than sorry.  We’re both happier that way.

Love You FringeMan!

FringeMan’s Hillbilly Hell-Fire Venison Chili

FringeMan cooks!

Dare I admit that he did all the cooking when we first wed?  It was either that or we’d starve, because I definitely couldn’t cook.  Even Hamburger Helper was too complicated for me.

My brain harbored no venison recipes, not even in the deep recesses of my imagination.  Till today, FringeMan remains the venison chef.  I’m more than ok with that arrangement.

Hillbilly Hell-Fire Venison Chili

 

Ingredient List

ingredients

* 3 pounds cubed venison

* 3 TBS butter

* 3 TBS vegetable oil

* 3 cans red kidney beans

* 2 cans crushed tomatoes

* 18 ounces tomatoe paste

* 1 can stewed tomatoes Mexican spiced

* 6 cloves garlic, chopped

* 6 Jalapeno peppers, chopped

* 1/2 cup red bell pepper, chopped

* 1 large onion, chopped

* 1 cup Jack Daniels Honey BBQ Sauce

* 1/2 cup water

* 4 TBS Franks Red Hot Louisiana Hot Sauce

* 3 TBS Worcestershire sauce

* 3 TBS chili powder

* 2 TBS honey

* 1 TBS oregano

* 2 TSP cayenne pepper

******** For a milder chili, subtract pepper seeds, hot sauce, and cayenne pepper to desired heat. ********

Heat a large pot and melt butter. Add oil

choppingonions

Chop onion and add.

butterwithonions

Add chopped garlic.pressinggarlic

I’ve convinced FringeMan to use a garlic press.  If you don’t already have one, it’s a great time-saver.  Your fingertips also don’t smell like garlic for the following week.  That’s a selling point for me.

garlicpress

A garlic press also releases all the juices from the clove.  At this point, you can throw the venison chunks into the mixture and saute until all are soft.  After the mixture sautes, drain all remaining liquid.

peppers

Another overworked tool in my kitchen is our little food chopper.  It’s hand activated and doubles as a mighty-fine stress reliever.  You simply imagine the object of your stress (person or otherwise) underneath the chopper and hammer away.  Yes, a small bruise may appear on the surface of your hand, but it’s your reminder that you kicked stress (or insert person’s name) in the butt.

Now you can add these lovely peppers and ALL remaining ingredients.

inpot

Your pot should be full and resemble a volcanic eruption.  Have the Tums handy!  Your stomach will soon look like the inside of this pot and the gurgling noises will be the same.  God have mercy on you.

simmering

Simmer for several hours.  Chili should be very thick.  If too watery, cook without lid until the moisture turns to steam.  Promptly give yourself a facial.

If you don’t have hours to stand around the kitchen stirring chili and steaming open your poors, dump the mixture into a crock-pot and fa-getta-bouuut-it.  Remove lid for the last hour if using a crock-pot.

finishedproduct

Serve up a healthy portion with shredded cheese, sour-cream, and antacids.  The antacids are a vital ingredient in this meal.

For the healthy attributes of venison, visit SnakeLover’s blog by clicking HERE.

Other meats of your choice may be substituted.

Good luck and enjoy!

Many thanks to FringeMan,