Archives for October 2009

October 29, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

The Ghosts of FringeFamily Past

FringeLovers

I know that some of you have seen these already, but today I’m reflecting on where I’ve been and what I’ve become.

FringeGirl 2007

Once I was full of good ideas and creativity. One electrified look from FringeMan would make my hair stand on end and turn green.

To clarify, I wouldn’t turn green, just my hair.

But now I’m left with only frizz and gray.

FringeMan 2007

There are no electrified looks from FringeMan, because he can’t see me through those long locks, dreadlocks.

FringeKid 2007

At one time I could convince my child that she was a cat.

FringeBoy 2007

I nearly talked FringeBoy into coming back from the dark side.

But….

FringeGirl 2008

something happened to me.

me1 My hair grew in.

I became a hardened, almost plastic woman.

FringeKid 2008

I fear for my sweet babies.

sietegonebad I’ve seen the same plastic look on my darling little angel.

FringeBoy 2008

This year I’m left with nothing.

FringePup 2008

I cannot even think up a costume that my dog will wear.

I think I lost all my zeal when I promised not to steal candy from children’s goody bags.

Chocolate is why I dressed up.

Chocolate is why I went door to door in a plastic mask that cut my oxygen supply so much that I became terribly dizzy.

I’d be willing to pass out in the middle of the street for a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup.

I’d be willing to humiliate myself in costumes that no self-respecting woman would wear for a 3 Musketeer.

This year there is no costume.

There is nothing but a vow NOT to eat chocolate.

Excuse me while I go mourn my candy.

Enjoy the weekend and eat a Snickers for me, will ya?

October 28, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

Vegetables I Like

veggietales

Archibald (Mayor): I’m busy, busy, dreadfully busy
You’ve no idea what I have to do.
Busy, busy, shockingly busy
Much, much too busy for you.
Larry: Oh, I see.

Archibald and Doctor: We’re busy, busy, dreadfully busy
You’ve no idea what we have to do.
Busy, busy, shockingly busy
Much, much too busy for you.

‘Cause we’re busy, busy, frightfully busy
More than a bumblebee, more than an ant.
Busy, busy, horribly busy
We’d love to help, but we can’t!

Archibald: Ta ta!

If you haven’t seen Veggie Tales, you’re really missing out on great entertainment with a moral. These are vegetables I actually like!

As you can see, I’ve had a few things to do and no time to post. Dreadful isn’t it?

My one question to you:

ARE YOU DRESSING UP FOR HALLOWEEN?

October 27, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

With Age Comes Wisdom

Reality is an evil place to live. There’s a reason why the majority of society lives in denial of something. For me, it’s my age.

maxine2

It’s as if one day I was nineteen, thin, and knew the answer to all the world’s problems and then the next day…well, let’s just say I had to wear a fat outfit today, the kids I once babysat are now in college, and I’ve forgotten how to not only bring about world peace, but also how to mix Hillary Clinton with Donna Reed and get a perfectly successful, yet domesticated woman.

I’ve realized that I am aging and it’s been a shock to my system; however, with age comes wisdom or so they say. So today I impart to you my newfound knowledge.

1. Nail polish may not stay on nails, but it can be used to complete practically any school project. It’s worked on everything from wooden box cars to turkey feathers, mainly because school projects don’t spend much time in Palmolive.

2. If you eat chocolate until your blood begins to darken and you find yourself smelling like Nestle’s when you sweat, You Will Gain Weight.

3. Never yell at your daughter. She will always take it to heart. This includes when she wakes you up out of a deep sleep to tell you that she needs to make turkey feathers for school tomorrow. This includes when you tell her to give you five minutes to wake up and you’ll help her and she comes back after 35 seconds giving you a million reasons why you don’t know how to make turkey feathers. This includes when after you’ve spent an hour gluing beans, pasta, candy wrapper foils, and little pieces of fabric to cardstock feathers, you find out the dang turkey isn’t due for TWO MORE WEEKS!

4. Unless you plan on loosing your dog, selling your children, and locking your husband out of the house, don’t ever expect it to stay clean for more than two full minutes.

5. Buy stock in silverware and socks, they constantly disappear.

6. Our parents shouldn’t have told us that life is hard, they should have told us that life is not cheap. Children drain you of every last cent.

7. Kosher salt is like a lifeline to a hormonal woman. I love it. I’m not sure why this should surprise me since I am a huge fan of bagels, but it does. I’m just sad I waited so long to try it.

8. The quest to cover your gray hair will be more challenging than trying to cover your tracks when you were fifteen and didn’t want to be grounded.

9. When you find yourself relating to Maxine cartoons, it’s probably time to stop fighting the progress of nature and just start clipping Depends coupons.

maxine1

10. God is always faithful. No joke.

What have you learned with time?

Notice I didn’t say age?

I don’t like to make you mad at me. I’m a pleaser by nature.

By the way, I’ve added a ‘Reviews’ page to my header, because sometimes people actually ask for my opinion.

October 26, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

FringeMan’s Wedding Story

Although I could have told this story myself, I wasn’t present for the actual event and it’s really FringeMan’s to tell. I convinced him to let me record him telling his wedding story. Please don’t ask what I had to promise him in return for today’s Vlog!

So without further ado, here’s FringeMan!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ranMfT2eoSU

I promise you that it really happened. He has witnesses.

For more stories of Meetings, Marriages, and Memories to visit Musings of a Future Pastor’s Wife…you can link up and tell your story too. It’s not too late!

For my complete love story, click on the ‘FringeLove’ link on the header located at the top of my page.

October 23, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

Boys Games

This is an actual conversation that occurred in my home last evening while FringeMan was putting the finishes touches on the kitchen plumbing and I was wondering how in the world I was going to cook dinner in the middle of a tsunami type disaster.

FringeBoy mastering the 'DORK' pose

My son and his friend were wildly running around the house screaming, when I suggested that they play something like legos, army guys, or monopoly – anything that would keep them busy and relatively quiet.

“We are playing something.” My son stated.

“Kill each other!”

Without looking up from the pipes under the kitchen sink, Fringeman yelled out, “Well, go kill each other outside.”

“Okay.” Came two responses and all I heard was the slam of the door and muffled screams from the front lawn.

I like him best like this.

Somehow I think I should be worried.

Have a safe, happy, and quiet weekend.

October 22, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

Etsy Finds

Whenever I need something to distract me from doing the laundry or dishes, I sneak away and browse Etsy. If you haven’t already played on Etsy, I highly recommend it. Etsy is an online shop for handmade goods. You can find everything from hand knit scarves to poop soap. What could be better?

I figured that since the holidays are coming, I’d share some of my favorite finds with you. If you click on the picture, it will take you the appropriate seller’s Etsy shop.

I don’t think anything could be cuter than a onsie with a tie for the little man in your life.

Tie Onsie $13.00

Onsies can be found at VeryKiki.

Imagine being able to wear a chandelier around your neck and looking good in it. I’m sure FringeMan would be hot on my scent if I wore one of these deer scarves. I actually have a green ‘tree’ scarf made by Pretty Raccoon and I love it. I wear it all the time! In fact I think I’ve even posted some pictures of me in it.

Long Scarf/Wrap $22.00

FernTree Studio has the most adorable children’s prints. It makes me want to have more children just I can I buy a few pictures for their walls.

Prints are $18.00

I like this. I know what you’re going to say, but I do. A neck ruffle is a necessary addition to many outfits.

Neck Ruffle $63.00

This lovely neck ruffle can be found on bonzie’s shop.

Tinker AndPo’s shop offers a variety of wrist warmers. If you live in the North and have ice running through your veins like me, you need a pair.

Fingerless Gloves $22.00

This next item will transform your Holiday decorating. I can’t believe how much I love these.

Christmas Tree peel and stic Art Deco wall stickers $26.95

The variety of wall stickers is amazing. You must at least take a look at Charming925’s Shop. Peel and stick decorating is just my style!

I can’t forget all you animal lovers out there, so this one is for your dog.

Leather Personalized Dog Collar $27.99

This dog collar is by Rollover Leatherworks. They offer a wide assortment of collars and leashes.

Etsy features some amazing artists and their works. Go check them out, support a crafter and small business owner, and have fun shopping!

October 21, 2009 by: The Domestic Fringe

The Dog Whisperer

Some have suggested that because of yesterday’s dog tale, I should employ the help of a trained professional. Someone like the Dog Whisperer. Consulting a doggie psychologist like Cesar Millan is a fine idea; however, if I had money for a shrink, you can bet your bottom dollar I’d by lying on the couch for an hour and not my rescue pooch.

100_4665

Sending my dog to obedience school would be like sending my children to private school and neither are in the FringeFamily’s immediate future. I’d like to know why public education isn’t available for our pets. Perhaps I’ll lobby congress…

Lest you all think my dog is just a wild hearted, free roaming, mangy beast, I’ll take a moment to brag on her. I’m pleased to report that ‘O’ sits, lays down, gives you her paw, gives you her other paw, and goes to her box (her crate) on command. Personally I’m impressed. My children still haven’t mastered going to their boxes.

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So while you may think total rehabilitation is necessary, I think I may just try an illusion collar. Hopefully an electrified version will be available soon. If not, I’ve heard a taser works well. At least that’s what the children say.

Kidding.

Sheesh!