The Day I Lost My Youth & Other Unimportant Stuff

23 Jun

Yesterday I lost my youth.

I looked in my mirror, tweezers in hand, ready to pluck stragglers when I saw it – a snow white hair growing in my left eyebrow.  Soon I’ll be an albino with dark freckles and I’m just not sure how that will look on me.  Does this mean I’ll have to start painting on my eyebrows soon?  I’ve watched my mother do this for years and it’s not that I don’t love her brows, but I was hoping to avoid feature painting until I’m at least in my fifties.   I just don’t want to worry about my eyebrows running when it rains.

Despite fading pigments in my hair follicles, I’ve spent so much time in school these last couple of weeks that I think I deserve another diploma.  Maybe one that says Doctor of Crowd Control.

Tomorrow is officially the last day of school, but today may be the day I lose my ever-loving mind.  The dog is going berserk.  The boys are scaring the girls.  The birds insist on pooping on my porch, and I ran out of the “good color” ice-pops.  A ginormous brightly colored beetle also got stuck in my hair.  I ended up doing a freakish dance on my front lawn that included shaking out my hair and jumping up and down.  I’m afraid at least three neighbors saw me.

That I know of.

What will tomorrow bring?

More kids.  More beetles.  More screeches of delight and horror.  More bird poop, of that I am sure.  Hopefully no more crazy hair dances in the lawn.

I think it’s officially summer on the fringe.  You know what?  I need a theme song to the tune of Home, Home on the Range, but that’s a job for FringeMan.

I’ll leave you with this bit of advice my friends….

Bake yourself one of these cakes.

Unless you have heart, artery, sugar, blood pressure, or cholesterol problems.  Then don’t do it.  It’s a death sentence.

If you’re perfectly healthy and have signed the responsibility waiver below, buy a box of lemon cake mix and bake it in two round pans.  Then spread a layer of  homemade strawberry jam between cake #1 and cake #2.  For jam recipe click HERE.

Ice with buttercream icing (recipe HERE), except add a few heaping spoonfuls of strawberry jam into the mix.  I also only used 2 sticks of butter in this batch of icing and not 3.  I’m dieting. ;-)

It’s heavenly.  Promise.  You’ll thank me one day.  Your doctor will not.

Happy Day to all!

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13 Responses to “The Day I Lost My Youth & Other Unimportant Stuff”

  1. Laura June 23, 2010 at 4:51 pm #

    I had to laugh at your crazy beetle hair dance. I had a crazy hornet hair dance once. My roomie and I were walking downtown and a hornet got stuck in my hair. It stung my hand while I was trying to extricate it and then it stung my roomie on the chin! I think it must have liked our shampoo. We decided all we could do was run, so we ran like she-devils, waving our hands, down the street. We did outrun the darn thing, but I still laugh at how crazy we must have looked.

  2. Debra June 23, 2010 at 7:47 pm #

    Oh my dear, I laughed all the way through. It sounds like the fun won’t stop all summer! That cake looks good enough to die for if you ask me.
    Take care ! :)


  3. robinaltman June 23, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    Your summer sounds wonderful! (Crazy hair dance and all.) I miss hearing happy little kid voices. These days all the voices I hear crack a bit in the middle of words.

  4. Mom June 23, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

    Painting my eyebrows is an art. I’ll share my technique with you.
    The cake looks awesome, and summers are sooo long and the kids get sooo bored after a few weeks off from school. ENJOY!!!

  5. Cathy June 23, 2010 at 10:41 pm #

    Yummy! The cake, not the bird poop.

  6. Charming's Mama June 23, 2010 at 10:45 pm #

    I love your Mom. My grandma used to paint her eyebrows on too. Me, I guess I’m lucky ‘cuz I’m a blonde and you don’t really notice the “really” blonde hairs (ahem, grey). I’m just going platinum. I could also just be in denial. Anyhoo . . .

    Here’s to a summer of fun on the Fringe.

  7. caprik June 24, 2010 at 7:24 am #

    That cake looks dangerous.

  8. Sara June 24, 2010 at 8:26 am #

    Maybe the beetle was attracted to the light of your silver hair strand? :-) Just kidding!! I’ve had gray hair sprout on my head since I was 23. A good cake truly can fix anything though. If you ever decide to practice medicine, I’m definitely switching to you! What types of insurance will you take? :-)

  9. Gabriela June 24, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    Have I told you lately how much I LOVE your blog banner and red/white polka dots? Well I do! You have got to stop plucking the white hairs from your eyebrows or you will definitely be having to draw them in sooner than you think. Have someone dye your eyebrow(s). Ask me how I know.

  10. Patti June 25, 2010 at 10:15 am #

    You SO OFTEN nail the ugly truth but sweeten it with humor, a la Erma, my much-missed writer a la Bombeck!


    And today I will eat–not this cake, but pie!!
    And tell my doctor it is your fault (yep, my annual is TUESDAY)

  11. Tabitha (From Single to Married) June 25, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    oh man – I remember when I found my first grey hair. I was traumatized I tell you, traumatized!

  12. Tabitha (From Single to Married) June 25, 2010 at 2:49 pm #

    ps – that cake looks really good. Maybe it’s because today is the first day of my new diet? Nahh… it just looks really good. :)


  1. I said THAT? 2010 Blog Recap | the domestic fringe - December 31, 2010

    [...] Yesterday I lost my youth. I looked in my mirror, tweezers in hand, ready to pluck stragglers when I… [...]

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