No, the mayor did not invite me to take his place, but sometimes you have to seize the opportunity.
Should I run for office?
Seriously, the Oval Office could use some Gerber Daisies or something. 😉
by: The Domestic Fringe
by: The Domestic Fringe
When I was a kid I had a pet crab named Herman, the Hermit Crab. As far as crabby personalities go, Herman was a star fish among them. He lived an extraordinarily long life, considering he would climb to the top of his wire cage, hang there for a few a minutes, and then fall to the bottom of his cage with a shell-rattling crash. He did this over and over again.
Perhaps I drove him to cage-climbing OCD?
I’m still not sure if I am to blame.
Herman suffered severe brain damage from his repeated falls. I was well-practiced in my psychotherapy skills by the age of ten, so I feel certain I can make the brain damage assumption.
Herman dined on a limited diet of peanut-butter on the half-shell and tap water. Apparently my parents were too cheap to buy me crab food pellets believed in creative meal substitution, but Herman didn’t mind one bit. In fact, I think he preferred peanut-butter to crab food, especially when I smeared it on a Ritz cracker.
butter+smooth peanuts+salt = fine dining
If you’re a crab.
I felt a certain bond to Herman, the kind of bond that some children have with their pet dog or perhaps the house cat. One day I found his naked body outside of his shell. Herman was ugly in death.
I mourned the loss of a cage rattling friend.
When my daughter was four years-old, she experienced such a loss.
Repeatedly she begged for a pet fish, so like any other loving mother trying to stall first fish love, I told her that if she kept her room clean for an entire summer, I would buy her a fish.
Four year-old clean is not the same as mother clean, but she worked at it everyday. Proudly she’d bring me into her room to show me her orderly chaos. As luck would have it, her mom’s housekeeping is not so different from her four year-old definition of clean. So, I bought her a fish, a Beta Fish.
My daughter named him/her Necklace. For simplicities sake, we’ll call Necklace a her. I just cannot imagine an him appreciating the name Necklace.
Necklace was loved, talked to, and severely over fed. She could only live so long eating two and a half pounds of fish food a day. Betas only grow so big.
When necklace passed from tap water unto death, my daughter cried. My husband spoke a blessing and flipped her into the woods, not the burial at sea she deserved, but heartfelt none the less.
The time of mourning passed through our home rather quickly, but Necklace’s memory lived on in the form of a construction paper and marker drawing. We hung the drawing over Necklace’s empty bowl and packed it up when we moved.
Necklace is forever fishyfied in child heart art.
Recently my daughter has been begging and pleading for a fish. The inevitable will come. Another fish will eventually swim in her bowl. Today we went on a fish fact-finding mission to Pet Smart. Oh, the fish you can see in Pet Smart!
Did you know they are classified under Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced?
I actually found this class system helpful. After all, I am looking for a fish with a high tolerance of child. Remember the little girl on Finding Nemo?
My daughter is looking for a fish who will follow her finger when she touches the bowl. The follow the finger skill will determine which fish lives in my home. I wonder is that a beginner, intermediate, or advanced skill?
Do you have fish?
Advice is welcome.
So on this Monday, Memorial Day, just keep swimming friends.
And don’t become SHARK BAIT!
by: The Domestic Fringe
Welcome to the Fourth Edition of Fiction Friday!
So glad you’re here. It is my hope that many of you will join us by linking your fiction post. Please read many of the links and be generous in your comments.
Help us share the opportunity by grabbing a Fiction Friday Button and proudly displaying it on your blog. We’d also love a tweet or stumble or facebook share. Some of the most skilled, prolific writers are bloggers, so let’s help each other out. Thank You!
Fiction Friday with The Domestic Fringe
The rules are as follows:
Remember: Each of the linked works of fiction are original (Including my own!). They are not to be borrowed, copied, or reprinted in any way. Thank you for respecting each author’s original writing.
*****
Yesterday I said my post would be late, but I had no idea we’d get a bad thunderstorm last night and the server for our internet connection would be down due to lightning. I guess I’m glad I wasn’t planning to post early in the day. 🙂
Today I’m giving you a bit of dialogue. It comes at the end of chapter two, post funeral for Francine, Lacy’s Mimi. I know I’m skipping around, but I’d like a little feedback on the dialogue.
Thanks so much for reading!
______________________________________
Tony took Lacy by the elbow and pushed them through the crowd. The mood in The Elks Lodge went from sorrow, to an alcohol induced mourning for a once peaceful and quite town. Tony pushed open the old wooden door and Lacy gulped cool air. She felt her head clear as she walked down the steps and across the gravel lot.
“My truck’s just around the corner. I left it here earlier today knowing I’d need it tonight.”
Opening the passenger’s side door, Tony asked “Where are you staying? Mason said you wouldn’t stay at his house.”
“I’m at the Knight’s Inn. As much as I love Mason’s girls, I just couldn’t stay there. I needed some time alone.”
“Isn’t that what you’ve had for the last five years? No one’s even seen you in all that time.”
Tony walked around and got in the driver’s seat.
“You always going shut me out Lacy? I thought we were friends, at least we were a long time ago.”
“Tony, we are friends. It’s just that…I can’t…I don’t know.” Lacy leaned her head on the cold window and glanced over at Tony. “You know I spent time in a psyche hospital last fall?”
“Oh, Flower.” Using her childhood name, Tony reached over and grabbed her hand, warm with the life of a girl he no longer knew. “I didn’t know. Mason never told me.”
“Mason didn’t know. I want to keep it that way. They said I have a psychiatric disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder. I guess I never really knew who I was anyway.”
“Did they help you?”
“At the time yes, but it’s the voices…I just can’t quiet them, especially at night.”
“What do they say?”
“Different things. Mostly they tell me things I already know, but I’ve tried to forget. It’s like my memory comes to life and I can’t silence it. Do you know what it’s like to have people talking to you in your head, reminding you of how screwed up you are, how you’ll never be normal, how no-one will ever love you?”
“Lacy, I’m…”
“Please Tony. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I don’t want sympathy. I want to be free. I want to be human, the normal girl next door. I don’t want to live like this.”
“Lacy, don’t say that. You are normal. Remember all the times we had fun, the times we cut school and went ice-skating down at the pond? You’re not crazy. You’re hurting and you won’t let anyone close enough to help you. Who’s helping you in New York?”
“I see Jayne Sellers, a psychotherapist, once a week. Actually, I have her on speed dial. I met her in the hospital and she’s been talking to me, helping me deal with things. Sometimes I just wonder if it’s enough. If the voices will ever stop.”
“Look at me, please.”
Lacy turned and looked Tony full in his blue eyes.
“I want to help you too, Lacy. Please let me.”
Your turn!
by: The Domestic Fringe
Blogland, it’s been forever!
I thought maybe I had used up all my words and I’d never blog again. Well, not really, but maybe I thought that for a half-second. I have plenty of words, but not an abundance of time. So, you’ll get the highlights.
We left for the great, frozen state of Maine on Friday and it was jam-packed weekend. We saw so many old friends, and yet there are still so many we did not get a chance to visit. Looks like we’ll just have to go back when it’s warm.
If it’s warm.
Saturday morning I spoke at a women’s luncheon. The lunch was beautiful, the ladies sweet as pie, and the day was even sunny. My little talk went ok. At least I hope it went ok. No one threw tomatoes and the women were all gracious and kind.
They did get an awfully funny picture of me though. I sure hope I didn’t look like the this the entire time I was speaking.
Just so happens, that the minute I make a freaky weird face and full-body horror gesture, somebody snaps a picture. Sad thing is that I kinda remember making this face. I was done with my talk and about to scramble back to my seat and disappear in a sea of fixed hair and fancy clothes when a dear friend asked me to stay up front.
I thought “Oh, no! I haven’t got any more words. I just gave you all I’ve got and if I’m left to impromptu, be afraid. Very afraid!”
Apparently I can’t think without my face telling the story.
Then we came home to a terrible fish smell in the house. I don’t cook fish unless my husband catches it and he hasn’t caught any fish lately. Because I left a few windows open, we thought maybe one of our neighbors threw out some slimy swimmy things and the stink got trapped in our house.
The next evening, my son comes running from his room screaming “There’s a snake in my room!”
Double Yikes. You think my face was bad in the last picture? That’s nothing.
I don’t know if the snake had anything to do with the stench, but there’s something fishy going on.
Back to the ladies meeting…
Those sweet girls just wanted to give me a gift, and I probably scared them with my face.
They made all those colorful ribbons kinda look like cupcakes. My picture just doesn’t do this cake plate justice. It’s adorable and I love it!
Big thanks to you ladies!
Tomorrow is Fiction Friday. I may be a little late posting, but I’ll get around to it. I began chapter 4 today. Well, I at least typed Chapter 4 on a blank page. That counts for something, doesn’t it?
In case you need a shot of writing inspiration, check out this video. It’s worth the time to watch it.
See you all tomorrow!
As long as a snake doesn’t crawl into my bed, wrap itself around my throat and choke me to death.
by: The Domestic Fringe
Welcome to the Third Edition of Fiction Friday!
So glad you’re here. It is my hope that many of you will join us by linking your fiction post. Please read many of the links and be generous in your comments.
Help us share the opportunity by grabbing a Fiction Friday Button and proudly displaying it on your blog. We’d also love a tweet or stumble or facebook share. Some of the most skilled, prolific writers are bloggers, so let’s help each other out. Thank You!
Fiction Friday with The Domestic Fringe
The rules are as follows:
Remember: Each of the linked works of fiction are original (Including my own!). They are not to be borrowed, copied, or reprinted in any way. Thank you for respecting each author’s original writing.
——————————————————-
I’m driving to Maine today, but I’ll be back on Tuesday to read all of your links, so be sure to link up!
I considered doing a rewrite of last week’s post, but I figured I’d just keep going. That’s what Fiction Friday is all about – put some writing out there, even if it’s a rough draft, get some feedback, and rewrite on our own. I love that it’s working just as I hoped! Thank you all for joining.
Now I continue my story. If you want to start from the beginning, click on the Fiction Friday category located on the right-hand sidebar.
Lacy stood on wobbly leggs and reached for Mason’s arm. “I’m staying. I’m doing my job here. I understand Mimi will never know, but I have to take care of her better than she took care of me. I need to for myself. I spent the last three hours in a car, wondering who could’ve done this to her. We have to find him Mason. For mom and dad’s sake, we have to find him.”
To Mason, Tony said, “I’ll be outside setting up the gurney, let me know when you’re ready.” He reached out and squeezed Lacy’s elbow. “If you need me, I’m here.”
“Lace, why don’t you go get your camera. We’re just about finished with the investigation. We just need your photos.” Said Mason.
Lacy turned and walked slowly outside. On the porch she stopped to inhale some fresh cool air. Crispy Maine air always cleared her head. Mimi’s classic New England cape sat just off the road. Chippy white paint and acres of hay field looked like quaint and calm to most, but for Lacy this place held memories that tore at her soul. She couldn’t escape the memories, not at any distance. One more inhale and she jogged down the steps. The driver’s side door of her Jeep hung open wide. Lacy shut the door, walking around to the hatch. She grabbed her black leather camera bag, complete with her Canon 5D Mark II camera and her 24-70mm f/2.8L lens, an extra battery, and a 32G CF memory card. Lacy always carried an extra battery. She hated running low on batteries, especially in the middle of a shoot. Only this wouldn’t be a normal shoot. I take pictures of smiling, happy children, not old dead women. Lacy thought. This couldn’t have happened. Lacy reached up and slammed the trunk shut. She swung her camera bag over her shoulder and walked up to the house with determination.
“I can do this. I can do this.” She chanted.
Lacy hesitated at the front door. Someone had shut it, probably one of Mason’s deputies. One last “I can do this.” and Lacy grabbed the knob. As soon she entered the kitchen, the iron smell of freshly spilt blood made her stomach reel. Steadying herself on the door jam, Lacy closed her eyes for a second. Mimi’s head rested in dark, nearly black blood. The hutch and a portion of the wall behind were splattered. Mimi never like polka-dots, she thought. Following the trail of blood, Lacy’s eyes locked onto Mimi’s face. Mason or someone on his team already closed her eyes. The left side of Mimi’s face was smashed, her nose visibly broken. Blood matted her hair, barely covering her indented scalp.
Lacy felt her stomach turn over. She covered her mouth and ran from the room, but only made it into the hall before she puked. Making her way through the guest bedroom and into the first floor bathroom, she leaned back against the tub for a few moments, sitting on her heels, her camera bag dropped at her side. She reached up and turned on the cold water. When her stomach stopped churning, she slowly stood, splashing nearly frozen Maine well water on her face. She actually felt a little better now. More alert. Ready.
Lacy picked up her camera bag and walked back into the kitchen. Someone already cleaned her mess in the hall. Now the house smelled like a sordid mixture of death, blood, and vomit. She swore she’d never eat again.
One of the uniformed officers led her around the body, giving her a crash course in crime-scene photography. Civilians usually didn’t take the photos, but Mason gave his permission. Things are different in Maine. Mainers have ways that outsiders do not understand. Mainers do things their way, not always operating by the official handbook for work or relationships. Pulling out her camera, Lacy detached herself from her grandmother’s broken skull. Lacy was a different person behind her camera. It gave her confidence. She owned the world pictured in her little square screen. Lacy built a successful photography business from nothing. She arrived in New York with her brand new lipstick red Jeep 4×4, her camera, and enough clothes to keep her out of the laundry-mat for a week at a time. Now Lacy had weddings booked two years in advance. She watched children grow from birth to pre-school, capturing every milestone along the way. The kids loved her almost a much their parents adored her photographs. Somehow Lacy always captured pure joy, innocence, the sparkle of childhood. Lacy loved her job. Photography was her life. Without her camera, she was a fully bloomed flower with a haunted mind.
by: The Domestic Fringe
by: The Domestic Fringe
I was probably about ten years old when I stood in front of a portable podium, note cards bouncing in my trembling hands. My oral report was on flags. I made a construction paper flag for no less than fifty countries. I’d never even heard of most of the countries, but they sure did have pretty cut and glue flags. I thought nothing could be worse than standing in front of my classmates and speaking, but then worse happened. Every one of my flags flew from the podium and scattered countries across the floor. The result looked like a worldwide earthquake struck and displaced entire continents. China suddenly shared land mass with Canada. I was doomed to geographic failure.
I vowed never to use construction paper props in another speech for as long as I live.
Saturday morning I am speaking at a Ladies’ Tea in Maine. My stomach is jumbled in happiness and fear. Oh, I’ve spoken to groups of women before, but I never really get over the pre-talk jitters.
The fear comes from my own head. Self-doubt says well, maybe you should have chosen a different topic. Maybe it’s not what they expect. Maybe your voice will crack a hundred and twenty times while you’re speaking and you’ll sound like a pre-bubescent boy attempting to sound like a grown-up woman. Or worse, maybe I’ll just forget everything I planned to say.
I’ts terrible. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. My freshman year in college, I had a professor pull me aside and tell me to never, ever erase an answer on a test. He warned me to always go with my first choice, because it was right. He noticed that every single time I erased an answer, I got it wrong. I should live and die, pass and fail by my gut instinct.
Doesn’t that sound easy? Simply writing down or doing the first thing that comes to mind, the thing you know is right?
Not if you live with my mind. I am queen of second guessing myself and God. I do a good job of cutting everyone else some slack, but I pretty much terrorize myself for absolutely nothing.
I’m funny that way.
So in order to counteract my stinkin’ thinkin’, I over-prepared. My time frame is 20-30 minutes.
TWENTY TO THIRTY MINUTES!
Yes, at first I thought, oh, no that’s a long time to be the only one talking, but my husband assured me that I have plenty of words to fill 30 minutes a hundred times over.
Turns out he might be right.
This morning I asked to him to guess how many pages I prepared.
“Six.” He guessed shooting for what he thought was a high number. Since he speaks publicly every single week, he’s estimating based on personal experience. Then he added cushion, knowing I am a woman with many words.
“Thirteen.” I said, hating to admit to each and every page.
I guess I went just a wee bit overboard, but I did not make one single cut and glue prop.
Now I’m slashing, crumbling, skipping, and crossing out. It won’t be so difficult to remember everything, not when I just threw half my words into the trash.
I do hope nobody from Maine is reading this. I may scare them into not coming to the Ladies’ Tea.
Girls, I promise not to retrieve any pages from the trash, and I’ll try not to bore you to death. Really, I will try.
All that to say this, I could use your prayers this weekend. So could the ladies who will have to listen to me.
How are you when it comes to public speaking?
Do you thrive on an audience or do you run screaming to the bathroom.