When I was teenager, I didn’t suffer from the kind of acne that made me want to hide my face in a paper bag from the ages of thirteen to twenty-one, but I had my share of giant glaring growths that poked up between all my freckles. And, let’s not even talk about all the times I was dead ringer for Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer minus the four legs and tail.
Pimples happen. It’s part of life. Some say you outgrow them, but I think they just lie dormant waiting for the perfect time, namely right before a family photo, to bring right back to sixteen years-old.
My son is approaching the age of the zit. Saturday we were all out with my mom and my son came over to show me a large lump on his forehead.
“You seriously can’t remember banging your head?” I kept asking over and over again, because someone with a lump that large should remember the bang.
My mom feared a bug bit him. You see my son doesn’t play nice with bugs. One sting or bite usually lands him in the emergency room fighting for his life. Although I was never fond of bugs, they are now mortal enemies. They give me gray hair and I’m just not that into collecting grays.
Thankfully I could not find a bite mark, so I figured my son must have wacked his head and now he was too concussed to remember, but since he wasn’t throwing up, I used my best medical training (all those years of watching ER really paid off) and declared him fine.
Three days later…this pompos pimple was taking its time…a zit emerged and marked the beginning of the end of childhood for my son. My husband regaled him with stories of pimples so large they were mistaken for a third eye. I used the opportunity to drive home the importance of hygiene. Never underestimate the power of soap, shampoo, and good scrubbing. I tossed deodorant around in the conversation a couple of times too, because a mother must seize the opportunity, and if she thinks deodorant can prevent pimples, then so be it.
It was a real Clearasil moment in my house. The conversation must have really struck a cord with FringeMan, because he came home early from work the other day and said, “You’ve gotta see this.”
He sat down and immediately booted up my computer. I knew I was in for a treat when he showed me this video.
Warning: Some bad words might slip out from people in this video.
I guess we really don’t outgrow pimples.
Then, if that wasn’t bad enough, we find out Zombies are real. At least one zombie is, and he apparently lives/lived in Florida.
After absolute disgust over this gruesome attack, we sat down to dinner and my son said, “This is going to make great conversation in school tomorrow.”
And that my friends is why truth is so much stranger than fiction.
