I’ve been a little off this fall.
I mean, I didn’t put out one pumpkin in my house. Not one. I thought about it, but when I went looking for my “fall” decorations, I couldn’t find the box, because I think it’s buried behind our Christmas decorations and I just wasn’t that committed to being festive.
I did, however, buy a pumpkin for the porch and a mum (it’s currently dying as we speak, because we haven’t watered it in a month), so that’s gotta count for something, right?
I think I’ve been too focused on other things.
The Christmas Crunch Challenge is killing me. Ok, it’s not the challenge’s fault, it’s the exercise.
If it doesn’t make you better, it kills you.
Sunday, my brother told me to add 3 sets of sqatts, 25 reps each, to my exercise routine. Sure. Got it. 3 sets of 25. How hard can that be?
I mean, I’ve been exercising for two months. I’m even doing a bit of running, so I squatted over a kitchen chair – 75 times. I counted.
I couldn’t walk on Monday or Tuesday. Today is Wednesday and I’m still heavily leaning on the banister with each trip up and down the stairs in my house. Good grief!
Repeat after me in your best Army voice, “Whip those legs into shape Girl, because Jello is not a shape!”
Unless they’re Jello Jigglers. Those come in lots of fun shapes.
I only did two reps yesterday, because I’m leaning toward the better side of exercise and not the dead side.
Then there’s our little church plant.
Friends, we’ve been here for over four years. It seems like half my life, but I’m not eight or even twenty-eight. The short story is, we tried to escape. We did. God almost sent a whale to eat us alive and spit us back out on our doorstep, but I’m not fond of fish guts.
We’re here. We’re working. It’s really, really hard some days.
We almost bought a building a few years ago, but at the very last moment it fell through. We’ve had 60 chairs stored away in a warehouse for two years. We’ve been in and out of my living room and an old church with no heat, no lights, and no bathroom. Now someone graciously gave us the use of a building, an old tattoo parlor. My son is kind of kind of excited. He thinks he’ll get to try his hand at Sharpie tattoo art after services.
No can do buddy.
Although, it might be draw, you never know. Tattoos in exchange for a church service? I bet nobody’s already tried that gimmick. I could probably write a book on how to draw a crowd with tattoo art and start the next phase of program-driven evangelism.
I’m just kidding. Chill.
This building had two black couches in it, but they were fifty shades of nasty and probably coated in Hepatitis. Last night my husband and a friend went to haul the couches to the curb. I was sleeping before he came home, but this morning, I pulled back the curtain and what did I see? A couch, slick with nasty, on my curb.
I thought, no. This can’t be. I must still be dreaming. After all, I’m slow in the morning.
But, there it sits, waiting patiently for the trash man.
If you’re walking by my house, don’t have a seat.
I also found a new love – gold spray paint. Goodness, I can’t get enough of this stuff. Why did gold ever go out? Why did I hate the shiny stuff? I did hate it.
So, I’ve been thinking. It wasn’t so much the gold I disliked. It was the cheap brass. There’s a difference. I’m totally in love with the cheap gold, but turn my nose up to cheap brass.
It all makes so much sense now.
So, while I’ve been a fall decorating slacker, I will haul out the Christmas boxes. Promise. I may even add to the DIY Christmas decor this year. Brace yourself for what is sure to be a mediocre, craft-tastic holiday.
What is going on in your life?
Did you put out the pumpkins, or did you go all overachiever on us and put up the turkey garland too?