Blueberry Jam Explosion


A bowl of berries + a lot of sugar = Blueberry Jam (or not)


I just finished making ten jars of syrup.  I was shooting for blueberry jam, but something went terribly wrong.

I guess we’ll just have to trade up from toast to pancakes.

I knew things were getting out of control when I underestimated the size of the pot I needed to boil blueberries and sugar.  It was like a volcano in Smurf land.  The lava was blue.

I felt like running out of the kitchen and letting the whole place go up in sugary smoke, but then I thought about explaining things to the fire department and FringeMan.  I called the kids in for reinforcements.

That’s like calling boy scouts when you need marines.

I swapped pots, but not before the kitchen clouded in a blue haze.  My eyes burned and my daughter coughed dramatically like maybe she should be wearing a gas mask and a hazard suit.

“Do you know what you’re doing?”  She asked.

“Of course I do.  Just hand me that potholder and a spoon.”

I had no idea what I was doing.

This is my second failed attempt at blueberry jam.  I don’t think canning is in my DNA.  Those genes were born to people who wear aprons.

I simply like to eat.

“Why don’t we just call it blueberry juice?”  My son suggested with enthusiasm.

At that point I wished I had six hands so I could have left the kids out of this chaos.  My heart didn’t want to salvage the pot of blueberries any more than it wanted juice thickened with pectin.

I just wanted to stop the entire stove-top from smoking before my neighbors started knocking on the door.

Now I have what we’re calling blueberry syrup and we’ll eat every last jar.

The kicker is I have four brand new jars of Welch’s jelly sitting on a shelf.  I had coupons and got a great deal.

That’s a lot of peanut butter sandwiches to eat my friends.

I guess I’m glad this turned out to be syrup after all.

I wish I could say I was having a bad day or I read the recipe wrong, but no.  It’s just another cooking day in the life of a woman who is better off ordering takeout.

Wanna come over for pancakes?

I can make those.  I think.

Have you had any cooking “adventures” lately?

Ever make jam/jelly??  Any idea what I’m doing wrong?

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  1. says

    Here I thought you were going to be making cough syrup like my granddad did—placing the sealed jars on top of a kitchen cupboard, ’til the poressure built up and they exploded! At least you got syrup out of it…WITH the gooey mess over the ceiling!!!! :)

  2. says

    Where the blueberries mashed up or whole? I made strawberry-blueberry jam recently and had to mash them up good. It takes a lot of elbow grease… next time I’ll use the food processor. I hope at least the syrup turned out good!

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