A bowl of berries + a lot of sugar = Blueberry Jam (or not)
I just finished making ten jars of syrup. I was shooting for blueberry jam, but something went terribly wrong.
I guess we’ll just have to trade up from toast to pancakes.
I knew things were getting out of control when I underestimated the size of the pot I needed to boil blueberries and sugar. It was like a volcano in Smurf land. The lava was blue.
I felt like running out of the kitchen and letting the whole place go up in sugary smoke, but then I thought about explaining things to the fire department and FringeMan. I called the kids in for reinforcements.
That’s like calling boy scouts when you need marines.
I swapped pots, but not before the kitchen clouded in a blue haze. My eyes burned and my daughter coughed dramatically like maybe she should be wearing a gas mask and a hazard suit.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” She asked.
“Of course I do. Just hand me that potholder and a spoon.”
I had no idea what I was doing.
This is my second failed attempt at blueberry jam. I don’t think canning is in my DNA. Those genes were born to people who wear aprons.
I simply like to eat.
“Why don’t we just call it blueberry juice?” My son suggested with enthusiasm.
At that point I wished I had six hands so I could have left the kids out of this chaos. My heart didn’t want to salvage the pot of blueberries any more than it wanted juice thickened with pectin.
I just wanted to stop the entire stove-top from smoking before my neighbors started knocking on the door.
Now I have what we’re calling blueberry syrup and we’ll eat every last jar.
The kicker is I have four brand new jars of Welch’s jelly sitting on a shelf. I had coupons and got a great deal.
That’s a lot of peanut butter sandwiches to eat my friends.
I guess I’m glad this turned out to be syrup after all.
I wish I could say I was having a bad day or I read the recipe wrong, but no. It’s just another cooking day in the life of a woman who is better off ordering takeout.
Wanna come over for pancakes?
I can make those. I think.
Have you had any cooking “adventures” lately?
Ever make jam/jelly?? Any idea what I’m doing wrong?