I’m a bad friend.
Ok, I said it. It’s out in the open.
I’m a better friend if you live close to me, but if you’re far away, I’m sorry.
I hate the telephone with a passion that rivals my love for chocolate. It’s the love/hate thing.
Now, I like snapping pictures with my phone, playing games, and checking Facebook, but talking? Well, not so much.
The problem is that I have a lot of friends who are far away. I went out-of-state to college, so I have those friends who are scattered throughout the country. Then I lived in Maine (love you Maine friends), but I don’t pick-up the phone nearly often enough.
Thankfully, my friends know me and they forgive me and they call me. That way I have to talk on the phone.
Even when my husband and I were dating, he’d call and most often I’d say, “Hang up and come over.”
It’s like I can’t speak to you unless I can see your face.
It’s one of my quirks (and yes, I have many).
One of my friends who I’ve known forever is good at being a friend. She’s smart too. You see, she’s got this system going and it’s brilliant.
She knows her friends well enough to know what they need.
One person may need a call once or twice a week to “check-in”, while another only needs a call every two weeks. Another friend is good with a once a month catch-up chat. It’s revolutionary. She gives her friends what they need and then everyone is happy.
Translate this method into your life. Perhaps you can grab a coffee with a friend once a month or get together for a playdate with the moms in your neighborhood weekly. Find out what keeps your friends and you feeling connected and then make a plan.
Relationships take work, but it’s good work.
And besides, being a good friend is worth the effort, even if it means talking on the phone.
Now please excuse me. I have a few calls to make.
One of the cool things about being down in the Atlanta area (besides Publix!) was getting to meet up with a blog reader. Heather met me for coffee and danishes and she made this adorable apron for me. I love it SO much!
She’s super talented and she has a fun shop that you must visit. She also asked me to write about friendship, so this will be a little mini-series.
Thanks, Heather, for the apron, the friend date, and the topic suggestion.
A mini-series on Friendship
Friends – How to Stay Connected
P.S. Always feel free to suggest topics. I’ll do my best to address them!
I am thinking bending a little here would be in order. Or written note…
I’m with you on the phone thing… Talking on the phone is the worst! I actually just called my grandma yesterday after not talking to her for almost a year! I think I almost gave the poor woman a heart attack. LOVE the apron!
I can’t wait to have coffee with you when I am in NY this summer. We MUST make that happen!
I am just like you. I hate talking on the phone. There are just too many distractions! I need a better system in place. I have a best friend who lives across the country. I’ve owed her a phone call for a month! You are not alone!
Jenni
You and Nina sound like twins. She hates the phone too–in both languages she speaks!
You are so right how friendships have different dynamics, and some require more maintenance and attention than others (for better or for worse!).
I actually do like to talk on the phone…that is, if I have time! Which is hardly ever! I would rather meet in person, but my schedule is very strange and the times I have to talk on the phone, hardly ever correspond to my friend’s schedules. I would of course, rather meet the people in person, but again, my schedule…Oh well, one day, my schedule won’t be so unusual! I look forward to that! I wanted to let you know that I love your blog!
Great topic! I’m right there wirh you, sista…a deep despisal (is that a word?!?!) of the phone. I love email, text and social media! Hallelujah for living in the age of technology! 🙂
I despise the phone too!
I too hate talking on the phone and always have. And I also have been blessed with a great friend that is willing to initiate the calling, thank the Lord! I DO have to say the facebook has been helpful as has skype. Both allow me to maintain friendships without having to use the blasted phone! LOL
I’m with ya, I hate to talk on the phone too. I have to really make an effort to maintain friendships as, especially since we from from our hometown 8 years ago, but it’s worth it!