My father called me asked me to do him a favor. Like a good daughter, I said “Sure, whatcha need?”
Seemed an easy enough request. I went to Trader Joe’s and bought a big jug of Pure Maple Syrup. The catch – my father lives in Portugal. Apparently they don’t have Maple Trees over there and they must not like to eat pancakes or they’d import a few maple trees. At least they’d import syrup.
I packed up my bottle of syrup and headed to the post office. My hands started sweating, my eye began twitching, and I was nearly paralyzed with guilt by the time I reached the counter.
You see, I have troubles with libraries and post offices. The post office people know that I sometimes mail liquid makeup and they don’t like it one little bit. It’s like contraband. You’d think I were mailing moonshine or something. I knew my Maple Syrup wouldn’t make it past the Stamp Man, but I was determined to lie try anyway.
I hate those little custom forms almost a much as I hate grounds in my freshly brewed cup of coffee. I was all set to write “Maple Products” on the customs form when Mr. Stamp Man zoned in on my hesitation and like a lion stalking his prey, lunged for the kill.
“You have to be specific.” He said.
“What’s in that box anyway?” Continued the Stamp Man.
This is where things got tricky. You see I don’t lie well. I’ve been taught since birth that lying will cause swift and severe punishment, like bolts of lighting striking from a clear blue sky. I knew it was going to come to “The Lie,” but I figured it would be easier on my conscious to write the lie instead of speaking it. Makes no moral sense, but I’m expecting to be struck by lightening at any moment, so I don’t feel compelled to be logical.
I give the Stamp Man the stupidest answer possible.
“Maple Candy.” I say with a smile and nervous chuckle.
He picked up my twenty pound box and looked at me like I was a sixth grader whose parents were about to be called into the principle’s office.
The funny thing is that I never did get to send that Maple Syrup. I need to repackage it to save some money. If you haven’t shipped internationally, it’s not cheap.
Next time I’m going to muster all my courage, tell the truth, and get this syrup shipped. I will not be bullied by Mr. Stamp Man!
If you want to know about my library problems, click HERE.
So what’s the oddest thing you’ve shipped?
People, if you haven’t taken a look at yesterday’s post and comments, you should. There are fifty-something comments and some interesting discussion. Click HERE.