I Already Screwed-Up The Sixth Grade

sixth grade orientation

I already screwed up sixth grade and we’ve only had orientation.

It wasn’t quite as bad of a mess-up as the time I chicken danced my way into the slow cooker after a school performance that my kid wasn’t in.  No, that was worse, but probably only because I made my husband sit through two-thirds of the program, all the while looking for our little girl who happened to be in the wrong grade.

I was so absolutely certain orientation began at 6:30 p.m.  I even agreed to bring along another kid who didn’t have anyone to take him.

When five o’clock rolled around, I kicked everyone out of the house, except for my children, reheated leftovers for dinner, and thought I had it all together.

We were starting this year off right, by golly.

During dinner, my daughter decided to change her clothes for orientation, because she’s female and that’s what we do.  Then she thought she’d get a quick shower first, so she’ll not only look good, but she’ll smell good too.

I am a mom on board with hygiene, so I gave her my blessing and cleaned up the dinner dishes.

That’s when I glanced over at the calendar.

The prescription in my glasses seems to be getting weaker by the day, so I walked up and put my face close to the 28th.

It said 6:00.

No, that can’t be right.  I thought.  I could see there was a 3 inside the zero.  Did it start out as a 3 and turn into 0 or the other way around?

Franctically I began digging through my pile of papers.

Do you have a pile?  Because if you do not, please come to my kitchen ASAP and tell me what to do with all this stuff.

Sure enough, I found the paper and it said 6:00 p.m.

It was 5:52.

That’s when I lost the mother-of-the-year award for the hundredth time this year.

My daughter went with soap in her hair.

The other kid went without dinner.

But, we went.

Things were coasting along smoothly enough.  I even remembered to turn my phone off half-way through the principal’s speech.  Sixth grade is a cinch, I thought.

Until the lockers.

For love of all that is sane and good and easy in this world, why a combination lock?  Why?

Twenty minutes later, she opened it herself.

There are no gaurantees when the first day of school rolls around.

And to the parent who bought all the brightly colored hanging beads for her kid’s locker, you’re killing me, the same as if you were sticking fifty-two fancy, magnetic, hot-pink pushpins into my right eye.

Please wonderful overachievers, let’s keep the bar set low, at least until the eigth grade.

If we make it that far.


How’s the school thing working out for you?

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  1. says

    That stack! I dare anyone to say they don’t have one. I have one- times four! and when the teacher/principal/try-hard Mom mentions something and says it in the tone of “Of course you already KNOW this since it’s in the paper you received”, I just smile all-knowingly-like.
    Don’t feel bad about the time thing- there are micro-tiny, enchanted creatures that change that stuff while we sleep.

  2. says

    Seriously! Let’s see, my brand-new-kindergartener never got off the bus the third day, ate only her “treat” for the entire day the 2nd day, and drank not a drop of liquid over 7 hours the first day. We’re off to a rocky start around here, too. Commiserating with you!

  3. says

    oh phewwwww… I am so glad I am not the only one that mixes up event times! I just don´t know if I could get myself to blog about it. LOL. We totally missed one of our boys exhibitions for Karate one year. It was the one we were going to make finally, the one we were going to do right! oh man did I mess up. we ended up getting there at the end of the thing. The boys tried to make me feel better and then we went out to eat and made it up to all of us.
    I hope she has a great year and loves her locker and combination. I loved mine. ;)

  4. says

    Well, like you I have a newbie sixth grader, but of course they did orientation on our vacation. Locker…I feel your pain. I can feel many eye twitches and gray hairs in the year to come…

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