Hello. I’d like to introduce myself. I am the plastic woman. I had one too many facial injections of wrinkle filler and my face permanently hardened. I’m happy to say I am forever wrinkle-less.
At least half a dozen children asked if this was my hair.
“Why of course it’s my hair, my child. I took those special vitamins advertised online and became Repunzle overnight.” I crooned.
These vitamins may put “The Hair Club For Men” out of business.
Even Oriana, my monster pup, was excited at the prospect of baskets full of chocolate.
Isn’t she spooktacular? My husband was horrified. He thought this outfit was very degrading. I have two words for him – “Party Pooper!”
Here’s my princess pixie. Isn’t she angelic?
Don’t ever trust an angelic princess pixie! They’ll turn on you in an instant.
Three of us moms took a total of seven spooks trick-or-treating. I think the spooks got spooked a few times. Don’t worry, we had several action figures to protect us.
As the children ran door to door, the moms picked through the candy testing random pieces to be sure they were “safe”. Safety first when it comes to our kids!
Meet my friend and neighbor, Jeannie. She’s a mail order bride who doesn’t speak a lick of English, but she makes the most wonderful cakes. Just kidding about no-speakie-de-Ingless. She’s an English speaking mail order bride who makes the best cakes ever. Imagine my luck to be neighbors with a pastry chef. She’s single-handedly responsible for my hips growing two sizes. Oh, Jeannie, stop baking…please!
My friend proved her loyalty when, after a brief dizzy spell, I realized I was suffering from a lack of oxygen and feared passing out. Have you ever tried breathing through plastic for an extended period of time? I don’t recommend it.
Anyway, her first response was “Don’t worry, I’ll grab your camera and take lots of pictures.”
Now that’s a true friend. Yes sir-ree, pictures of my body laying in the street, the paramedics attempting to pump life into my listless self, and my children crying by my side. What a post that would be!
Glad to say I survived the ordeal, but the kids suffered sugar shock.
They all have dentist appointments and are currently recuperating via insulin dripped through an IV.
The bunch of weary gremlins all returned to my house with sore feet and aching teeth for a gourmet dinner of hot-dogs and chips. The dads met us after work and we partied till the ware-wolves started howling.