Mom, I think I’m growing up.

Growing-up helps me realize I cannot do it all, but more importantly, it helps me understand that I don’t want to do it all.  I’ve been to college twice, worked several jobs as different as the splits in my personality (split personality is not a clinical diagnosis for me, but rather the realization that I’m complex enough to fastidiously do laundry, while never once cleaning under my bed), and half-raised two offspring (translate half-raised as half-baked).

Like most women my age (think twenty-five) and probably most of you reading, I’ve cannon-balled into more hobbies, fleeting passions, and career choices than is profitable.  Fortunately, I now know what satisfies me, makes me feel fulfilled, and what makes me want to run around the block screaming “Calgon take me away!” while simultaneously pulling out my hair and overdosing on high-calorie M&M’s.

I’ve scrapbooked, hot-glued my entire house into a sixty-minute Martha Stewart show, cooked my way into strangers kitchens while selling them Pampered Chef, worked in an air-tight office that sucked the life from me, and sewed my own dress.

Epic Female Fail.

I don’t want to sew my own dresses, because I like to shop.  Sewing gives me headaches and makes me think things a preacher’s wife ought not think.

I love taking pictures of my kids and sharing them online, but I really don’t have the desire to cut thousands of little strips of color-coordinated paper into geometric shapes, use acid-free glue, and sticker my way into Creative Memories hall of photo-embellishment fame.  I have a scrapbook that looks like it was made by a third grade art student for each of my children, their special, made with love, memory book.  I gave up scrapbooking for sanity and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

I am educating my children at home this year, but I am not a homeschooler.  I don’t love teaching my kids Math and Science.  I don’t bound from bed in the morning eager to use everything from grocery shopping to scrubbing the toilet as a major learning lesson.  I sit longingly by the window with my cup of coffee and watch the school bus drive past my house.  I won’t homeschool forever.  The truth is I miss my kids not being in school for a few hours everyday.  If that makes me a bad mother, don’t nominate me for any awards this Mother’s Day.  While I am committed to giving my children a good education in a positive environment, I pray that will not include homeschooling for more than another year or two.  I am not a homeschooler at heart.

I enjoy people.  I’m really not a loner.  I like to sit outside on a nice day and gab with people.  I enjoy inviting too many people to my house for dinner or a barbecue and then scrambling to enlarge my walls.  I’d rather work with people than a computer.  Yes, people are the cause of my gray hair, but what’s life without a few age spots?

I guess I could go on and on, but my point is not in the details of my life.  It’s in the growing-up.  The good is being able to say, I may have some squiggly gray hairs, but each of those hairs represents a life well spent.  The freedom is in saying, I’ve tried that already and I don’t enjoy it enough to do it again.  The wisdom is in saying I have much opportunity, but I’ll only pursue my dream.  The gift is in saying, I’ll do this task today because it will benefit my family, but I don’t have to commit to doing it for life.

Maybe growing-up isn’t so bad after all.  Maybe it just means you’re a little smarter than your children.  Not smarter in intellect, but smarter in experience.  I guess there’s truth in the saying been there, done that.

And for the record, I hardly have any gray hair!

Are you growing-up?  What lesson have you recently learned?

Don’t forget, tomorrow is FICTION FRIDAY.  Can’t wait.  If you’d like to join, read the (easy-peasy) rules HERE and link your piece of fiction each Friday.  Please remember to read other linked blogs and leave some comment love.  Help spread the word!  Tomorrow we launch Fiction Friday.

<div style=”text-align: center;”><a href=”” target=”_blank” title=”Fiction Friday”><br /> <img alt=”Fiction Friday with The Domestic Fringe” src=”″ /></a></div>

Make it a great day!
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  1. says

    I’m not sure if this qualifies as grown up, or just spoiled brat, because after all, there is value in discipline, right? But…

    In my younger days and years, I read voraciously. I still do, but there is a difference. When I was in high school I read everything. 900 page books like “Hawaii” and “The Russians.” I’m pretty sure I’m the only kid who ever checked out either of those from the library.

    I read all the “classics.” Old things like Charles Dickens and Sir Walter Scott, Shakespeare; newer ones like James Michener, John Steinbeck, and Ernest Hemingway, and the New York Times bestsellers.

    For some perverted reason, if I started it, I made myself finish it. I slugged it out with all sorts of books that didn’t speak to me. I read books I didn’t even like. As a result, I have read pretty much everything. Mention the most obscure book on the “should read” list, and I bet I have read it.

    But not anymore. Now I only read what I like. If I check out the latest best seller and I can’t settle into it within a reasonable time or number of pages…I take it right back to the library, unread. I just don’t have enough time left to waste on stuff I don’t like.

    Fortunately, my literary taste is wide and varied, so I’m not limited to romance novels. Or anything.

  2. says

    Catching up on my blog reading….First thing I thought of when I read this is how weird it was that we both used Calgon references in posts this week. Let’s resolve not to do that again. We’re showing our age! (Do they even sell Calgon anymore?).

    I can totally relate to this post, too.

  3. says

    I had to laugh at the homeschooling comment. My kids have spent more time in our little home academy than any in-person school bit public or private.

    Is home education a wonderful fit for my kids? Yes. Do I look longingly at the school behind the house? Oh, honey, you better believe it.

    I do love science and history–everything else? Meh. And I mean MEH.

    ;) You’re not alone!

  4. says

    Nice to meet you Fringe Girl. I’ll be back to visit soon. Thanks so much for the invite to Fiction Friday. I’ll see if I am courageous enough to do that tomorrow.

    Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)

  5. TheIdiotSpeaketh says

    For the record, I am about to turn 46….my once red hair turned gray long ago and is now white….and I NEVER plan on growing up….. :)

  6. says

    Like you, I’ve learned to accept who I am and be okay with that. It doesn’t mean I don’t try to improve, but I don’t have to be perfect and I don’t have to be “typical”. Or stereotypical. Or whatever. I just have to be the best me I can be.

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