FREE GLASSES – That’s what my insurance company promised me. I like free, I want Free, I live for FREE! I guess I didn’t understand what free meant. Now I realize it means “Write me a check…a big FAT check.”
Well, money talk aside, I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…oh, sorry, didn’t mean to break out in song. Aren’t you glad I just work with words and don’t post videos? My son wants me to make videos…could be interesting, but I wouldn’t torture you with my voice…just my words.
“I love them! How much are they?” I ask after trying on the first pair of GREAT glasses the formerly nice man handed me.
“The most expensive pair in the shop.” He replies.
Glumly, I slink back into my hard, plastic chair feeling like I’d just been kicked in the stomach. Now I would never look attractive, fashionable, and smart in my glasses…just nerdy. I know, I am what I am, but I like to disguise my nerdyness with cute glasses. (Spell check is telling me that “nerdyness” is not word. I’m just gonna add it.)
“Now why did you do that to me?” I inquire with a bit of outrage.
The FORMERLY nice man says with a chuckle, “Because it’s my job”
Glancing over at my husband, I can see the veins bulging in his neck and forehead. Because I know he’s on the verge of a stroke over how big a “fat” check he’s going to need to write, I ask if there are any “cheap knock-offs” of this great frame. There are ALWAYS cheap knock-offs, but you need to ask for them specifically. Glancing back at my husband, I see a little color returning to his face and know I’m on the right track.
“Why did I bring him along?” I think to myself, but quickly remember I’d have been lost for hours if I hadn’t. I need a live GPS. I start out going to the corner market and end up in Brooklyn with no idea of where I went wrong. Maps do nothing for me. It’s like reading hieroglyphics.
When asked what I was looking for in a pair of frames, my husband suddenly found life and said “She’s East Village.”
The pillager of my finances wants more clarity and inquires, “More like Bleaker and less like Avenue A?”
From that moment forward, I disappeared. It didn’t matter that these were MY glasses or the finance pillager’s job was to show ME glasses or that my husband was merely along as MY GPS. No. I had to wander the store myself and try on my own glasses while the two men discussed “The Village”, music, bands, and old guy NY stuff. Yes, I said it “OLD GUY.” I was being ignored and I couldn’t see.
Now, unless you grew up in the New York City area, you may not understand “The Village”, “Bleaker St.”, or “Avenue A”. Sorry. That’s why we have the internet, our information resource center.
Finally I had to interrupt. “Excuse me, remember me, I need GLASSES!” Without even a glance in my direction, the pillager turned behind him, grabbed a pair of frames from a hiding spot I hadn’t seen and handed them over. I could have been upset, but these were THEM. I loved them!
Finally, he and my husband stopped to take a breath and turning to me (it was about time), he said “And they’re not even that expensive.”
You’re waiting to see them, aren’t you? Unlike my normal outrageous choices, these glasses are subtle, but with subtly comes a simple class. Ok, enough…what do you think?
It’s hard to actually see them in this picture, but they are purple with green arms. By the way, Isn’t this coat fabulous? Three quarter length. I love it!
Not a very attractive picture. Just look at the glasses.
You know, I can only see the coat in these pictures. I hadn’t realized what a presence it commandeers.