FringePup suffers from multiple personality disorder. In this photo, I’ve captured her “Queen of the Arctic” persona, but just this morning she morphed into “Psychotic Biting Puppy”. I shan’t divulge which personality explodes from her clenched jaw and fiery red pinhole eyes when the mailman approaches our porch; however, I may have seen droplets of blood fall from her teeth just yesterday. Stephen King may want FringePup to appear in his next book gone HollyWood.
In other news, FringeKid now reads books in Spanish. I thought she should master English first, but there’s nothing wrong with being mediocre in more than one language, as seen daily in New York. She also informed me that our stove is a boy and our microwave is a girl. They are both available, so please pass that information along to your appliances. Photos provided upon request. If my stove and microwave were to hook-up, I may just get a toaster oven out of the deal.
In the past two days, I discovered that I cannot bake ready-made Pillsbury cookies. You know the kind – they house little colored photos for each holiday and come in a cute box complete with knock-knock jokes on the back. I’m now leaving the cooking part to the kids and sticking to telling jokes. I have also become so pale that FringeMan inquired of my health. I will be spending my children’s winter recess under a 60 watt bulb and calling it vacation.
Thankfully I have redeemed my week by doing one semi-creative and productive task. I made a scarf, actually two. Before you begin to laugh, I did not use a loom this time, so my scarf looks more crappy scrappy and less like pot-holder. Apparently even FringePup associated the last pot-holder scarf with food, because she ate it.
I had FringeMan snap a photo of me wearing my scarf last night. The children were already asleep, so I couldn’t convince them to model my wares and FringeMan flat-out refused. There are limits to his love. I nearly decided not to show this photo, because any drop of make-up that I failed to apply earlier in the day was worn away. I also hate my hair that I had re-cut by a stylist and I’m wearing a tent sweater. Did I mention the double chin was visible last night? My chins are similar to the phases of the moon and last night was a full moon; however, I have read that self-humiliation is good for the soul (your soul), so here you have it.
Try and focus on the scarf. The fabric previously lived on FringeMan’s back in the form of a T-Shirt. If you’d like to make your own, here’s the LINK. This is a wonderful blog that I only discovered this weekend.
Finally, [insert cheers of joy] my daughter gets her obviously fashion forward style from WHO? I’m leaning towards one or both grandmas at this moment.