I really dislike long road trips. I’m just not the type of girl who travels well. I always look like a wrinkled mess by the time I crawl out of the car. I’ve got lines in my face from falling asleep with the seat-belt squashed between my face and the window. My knees are cramped due to shared floor space, and my clothing looks like it came straight out of the rinse cycle and onto my body. By mid-trip my hair is tangled in a web any spider would be proud to call home. I also cannot keep a stitch of make-up on my face while in the car. I think it melts off with the frost on my windshield.
I’ve never been able to understand how some women slide from their car into a rest-stop bathroom looking like they just came from a day at the spa. Blush intact, hair high, and creases down the center of their pants only. Why can’t I travel well?
Planes are a much better option for me. They require shorter times of confinement and the sheer terror of shooting through the sky keeps an alert look on my face.
I’ve noticed some things while traveling. McDonald’s bathrooms are never clean. I really don’t think this fact changes by state; however, in New York you’re lucky to find a McDonald’s bathroom that has a door on its’ hinges or a seat on its’ non-flushing toilet. Buy fries at McDonald’s, but use the bathroom elsewhere.
Like most micro stalls in roadside bathrooms, vehicles never have enough space. When I was a kid our station wagon housed three families of children and a months worth of cargo. What has happened to our vehicles?
Now they’re made for people who are exactly 4 foot 8 and weigh 63 pounds. Anyone larger must sit with their chin resting comfortably on their knees. Each passenger only has space for one plastic Wal-Mart bag and don’t even think about bringing the family pet, be it spider or dog!
All vehicles should really come with standard DVD players built into the front seat head rests. Why we only purchased DVD players for our car this month is something I’ll NEVER understand. Our brains must have been invaded by aliens from Leave it to Beaver Land.
With countless trips from Maine to Florida, I could have saved myself 479 verses of ‘Old McDonald Had a Farm,’ 42 hours of playing ‘I Spy,’ and no less than 13 boxes of crayons. The cost of those DVD players is worth 4 times the purchase price. Our sanity is worth the risk of our children’s mind turning into gelatinous mush from too much television.
Do you travel well?