Remember the time I waxed eloquent on the horrors of skinny jeans? Well, today I’m joining The Pleated Poppy for What I Wore Wednesday and I’m eating crow.
It’s quite the funny story, but it involves a Mexican mama with a big butt. I fear someone will take this story wrong and think I’m prejudiced, when in fact, I love Mexicans. Of course I do. And, I love their food even more.
So, do me a favor. When you read this, chill. Please don’t get bent out of shape and leave me comments on how ashamed I should be of myself for not loving my neighbors all the way down south in the land of warm weather and jalapeño peppers. This isn’t about love, it’s about the true story of big butts and skinny jeans.
I may have said the following…
I have high expectations when I get dressed in the morning. I like to breath, sit, walk, and maybe, when I am feeling exceptionally frisky, I might even like to race my kids to the car. I need clothing that allows me to live my life without cutting off all circulation from the waist down. After twelve hours of wear, I imagine skinny jeans are like an epidural. You lose all feeling below the belt.
My feet are too fat for skinny jeans.
Girls, I’m still in full agreement with myself; however, I needed an outfit to wear to a casual event. Causal throws me off. If you tell me to wear “dressy”, I can imagine what to wear. If you tell me “business”, I’ve got that one down, but casual offers such a wide range of choices. I can wear anything from my pink pajamas pants with the little moose that say “Don’t Moose with me!” to something from the cover of J. Crew.
Too many choices make it more likely I will pick the wrong outfit. The odds weren’t in my favor.
After pulling everything out of my closet (that took fifty-two seconds), I decided I needed to go shopping – serious shopping, not casual try on twenty things and buy a three dollar shirt off the clearance rack kind of shopping.
So, armed with coupons I went to Loft and Kohl’s (the stores are side-by-side, so it was an easy decision). I figured between those two stores, I could find something.
I was standing in front of the mirror in Loft wearing an outfit and asking my daughter if the pants looked ok when a nice little sales associate walked in.
She took one look at me and asked, “Did you try those in curvy?”
“No. Do you have curvy pants?”
She said, and if I’m lying I’m dying, “My mom, well, she’s Mexican and she has a big butt and our curvy jeans fit her perfectly. She loves them. I think you will like them too.”
In my mind, it was practically settled. If her Mexican mama with the big butt liked these jeans, surely I would love them too.
I felt a little on the old side being compared to her mama, but I forgave her. And, I made peace with my backside long ago, so if you wanna call it big, so be it. Just get me a pair of jeans that fit!
Jeans, blouse, scarf: Loft, Cardigan: Target, Boots: Dr. Martens
I was hesitant to try on a pair of skinny jeans, because of my history.
You ever try to get a pair of skinny jeans on in a fitting room?
I used a handicapped room, because somehow I knew it would take a combination of high impact aerobic activity and yoga poses to get a pair over my hips. I did not realize I would call on memories from gymnastic class in the second grade and channel Mr. Miaggi as he trained the Karate Kid for his tournament. Daniel Son’s little crane kick held nothing on my fancy footwork, and that was only to get the jeans over my knees!
Two percent spandex is just not enough.
However, I am happy to report that these magic curvy skinny jeans from Loft slipped right on over my feet, knees, and all the way past my big international butt.
Thank you Mexican mama.
The moral of this story – never say never.
You can only resist a trend for so long before a sweet sales associate comes along and sets you straight.
As for the skinny jeans, they’re quite comfortable. They’d fit even better if I didn’t eat six pounds of Christmas cookies over the holidays, but I’m working on that.
From here on out, I vow only to try on pants with the word curvy in the description. And if your mama (Mexican or not) has a big butt, please don’t hold back. Let me know where she buys her jeans.
The Skinny on The Jeans – in its entirety in case you missed it the first time around.
Are you resisting any popular fashion trends?
Have you eaten crow recently? Please do share, because misery, as they say, loves company.