I’ve been a little off this fall. I mean, I didn’t put out one pumpkin in my house. Not one. I thought about it, but when I went looking for my “fall” decorations, I couldn’t find the box, because I think it’s buried behind our Christmas decorations and I just wasn’t that committed to being [...]
You all know I’ve been on a diet, right? Only diet seems to be a four letter word. It’s a healthy eating plan. It’s a new outlook, a renewed relationship with food. It’s for life. That kind of makes me want to jump off the nearest bridge, because it smacks of donut shops with a [...]
Jillian tried to kill me with a squat. I don’t even know if they were squats, but everything becomes a squat of death when you have four gallons of sweat in your eyes and every muscle in your lower body is trembling. “Ramp up your workout.” Says everyone. “Walking is for sissies and old lady’s.” [...]
I’m thinking outside the gym box (and outside the Oreo box, but let’s not bring that up) and talking about some creative ways to get moving this summer. You see, I’ve always wanted to substitute liposuction for exercise, but I can’t get my insurance company to believe liposuction is necessary for my health and well [...]
Since I’ve blabbed about my diet for the past four months, I decided to do a little before and after. Now don’t go getting too excited. I only lost twenty-six pounds and I didn’t actually take a “Before” or “After”; however, thanks to What I Wore Wednesday, I now have more lousy photographs of myself [...]
I don’t even know if they were squats, but everything becomes a squat of death when you have four gallons of sweat in your eyes and every muscle in your lower body is trembling. “Ramp up your workout.” Says everyone. “Walking is for sissies and old lady’s.” “Pick up those feet and R.U.N.” “Give Jillian [...]
I was walking on the high-school track the other night feeling pretty darn good about my three miles. Heck, I even pumped and arm or two during my imaginary race around the circle. That is, until Granny showed up. This woman, who is considerably older, heavier, and more wrinkly than I, moved faster than [...]
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, “A house guest,” you’re wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck Last Christmas a [...]
Won’t you please take a walk around the block with me and my daughter as we count our Thanks? shark facts from my daughter the newness of a tulip a good night’s sleep medicine that works the goodness of God Lessons not forgotten Matthew 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good [...]
“I’m cold and hungry. I thought this eating healthy thing was supposed to be doing me some good. I ate two oranges today and I don’t feel one bit better.” This is part of an actual conversation in my home. I won’t divulge the identity of the speaker. She would rather remain anonymous. Later in [...]
This morning after allergy shots, we ran by the library. My son wanted to pick up a book he had ordered. We never, ever leave the library with just one book and today was no exception. The librarian gave us a bag for our bounty and she granted me a couple of extra days on [...]
I guess I could have split this post into several bite size nuggets, but I’m giving you the whole super-sized nugget pack. We’re talking the McDonald’s twenty piece. Did you want fries with that? This week I realized that if I were an attorney, I would be a public defender. My kids, especially my daughter, [...]
Last night after dinner I needed to get out of the house. Do you ever have those moments when the desire to “go out” feels similar to what inmates must feel when they decide a jail break is in order? Not that I’ve ever been involved in a jail break, so I don’t speak from [...]
