Tag Archives: Family

10 Things I’ve Learned about Dieting

16 May

I’m on a diet.  That should be explanation enough for any weird moods and hallucinations of cheeseburgers. I find myself googling every yummy food known to man in order to get a calorie count, only to realize I cannot eat it, because diets only let you eat the caloric equivalent of a piece of unbuttered toast and water.

Source: google.com via Tricia on Pinterest

I’m beginning to think liposuction doesn’t sound so bad after all.   So what if they have to gash a whole in your body, insert a vacuum hose, and suck until they hit bone, it’s gotta be an outpatient procedure nowadays.  Doesn’t it?  The only drawback is I have every bit of confidence that I could replace all that fat within a year.  That, and then there’s the money, and the cutting.  Ya, I should never underestimate someone taking a scalpel to my skin.

So I’m back to being on a diet.  This time it’s for real.  It’s not just a reconnaissance mission to take back my thighs.  I’m taking back my whole chubby self, double chin and all.  I hope there’s an exchange policy on flab.

Source: google.co.uk via Tricia on Pinterest

I’m down twelve pounds.  Doesn’t seem like much, but I did fit comfortably back into a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in quite some time.  The bummer is I’ve decided I hate the jeans.  Go figure!  It’s just my luck.  I’m stuck wearing jeans that are a size too big or jeans I hate.  Now I’m going to have to lose another size so I can justify buying a new pair.  That’s all there is too it.

Here are some things I’ve learned since being on a diet.

1.  Calories count, so count your calories.  (I just made that up this second, but doesn’t it sound like a slogan from a diet plan?)

Source: tumblr.com via Tricia on Pinterest

2.  You can sit by and watch your family eat goodies and say NO.  You will live to have another Oreo cookie.

3.  Exercise can be as simple as taking a walk with your family, but don’t overestimate the amount of calories you burned on your walk.  It was probably like ten.

Source: media.photobucket.com via Tricia on Pinterest

4.  Food is not your enemy, appetite is your enemy.  What you need and want you want are drastically different.

5.  Eat foods that are full of good things like fiber and protein.

6.  If you’re hungry, drink some water and wait a while.  If you’re still hungry, eat something, but make sure the calories are counted in your overall total for the day.

7.  Eat for the right reasons.  In my family, we tend to overeat just because something tastes good.  “It tastes so good” is not enough reason to eat more.

8.  Fad diets are not for me.  I won’t stick to them for more than three days.  I have to eat regular (to me) foods or else I won’t achieve long-term success.  Translate:  Find a meal plan that works into your budget, lifestyle, and taste.

Source: someecards.com via Tricia on Pinterest

9.  No one may notice your accomplishments, but keep going.  Brainwash your child into telling you, at least once a day, you look thinner.

10.  Make baby step goals.  If I tell myself that I need to lose twenty pounds, I’ll quit before I even start.  So I tell myself five pounds and then another five.  I’m three pounds away from my next goal.

Believe me, I’m no dieting expert.  I’m one of those women who actually enjoys eating, and it’s downright shocking how much food I can consume when I don’t stop myself.  I do not have a fast metabolism and dare I admit this, being a bit overweight doesn’t even bother me that much when I look in the mirror.  I don’t care enough to lose the weight.  What makes me diet from time to time is that I feel bad when I’m overweight.  Carrying around an extra ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds makes a huge difference.  It’s a difference I can feel when I’m sitting down and bending over.  It’s uncomfortable and I hate being uncomfortable in my own skin.

I don’t think weight management is necessarily about a number.  It’s about getting to a place where you feel good.  I suspect when you feel good, you’ll look good too.

Source: someecards.com via Tricia on Pinterest

So how about you share your accomplishments, or maybe what you’ve learned about dieting?

If you’re one of those girls who can eat a cow without even getting a gas bubble, don’t tell me please.  Jealousy isn’t good for my soul. ;-)

Good Morning Monday After Mother’s Day

14 May

Good morning Monday!

I hope you enjoyed your Mother’s Day.  I did.

I have the best family ever.

My son created an acrostic on the envelope of his card.

The hearth of eternal, loving relationship…wow!

That’s still making me chuckle.

Definitely goes in the “keep forever” box.

We began the day with church, a trip to Five Guys for lunch (per my request…I’ve been craving a cheeseburger.),

and then I came home and took a really long nap.

We ended the night with an ice-cream cone and a walk by the river.

It was the best day ever, a jump start into the beginning of summer.

Now I’m ready for a picnic with my cute little igloo tote, picnic blanket,

and a collapsible water bottle.

It was the perfect day.

Hope every mom enjoyed her special day.

What did you do with your own mom or with your kids?

Happy Monday!

Tell Kids the Truth

13 May

My son was handed a bullying survey the other day in school.  All the children in the middle school were filling them out.  The teacher explained that they were anonymous; however, she would like each child to check the appropriate box for Male or Female.  She was sure to add a loophole just in case a child was confused about his or her gender.  They were free to check both boxes.

This makes me really sad, because confused children need to hear the truth.

They need to know God formed them in their mother’s womb and loved them before any earthly person, even their mom, could hold a sparkle of affection for them.

They need to know  God’s love does not falter.  It is not based on performance or sacrifice, but rather on the nature of an almighty God whose greatest desire is to redeem his creation unto himself.

They need to know  God created them male or female and that our God makes no mistakes.  He looked on his creation and said it was very good.  He has a plan and purpose that only they can live out.  To an almighty God, they were no mistake.

They need to know their great value in this life, a value that doesn’t come from accomplishment or people’s approval.  It is a value coming straight from the hand of God.  They mean everything to the one who created them.

They need to know emotions can betray us.  God gave us emotions as a gift.  They cause our heart to sing in joy and break in sorrow.  They make us care, love, give, cry, delight, and take joy in, but our emotions can falter in the wind like an old, dried-up leaf blown in every direction.  Our emotions are not absolute truth.  We don’t base our decisions on an emotion that can change from one day to the next, and if hormones are involved, may change from one moment to the next.

They need to know it’s right to walk in truth, to be the boy or girl God made to them to be.

They don’t need to be left alone with their confusion to sort their emotions out on their own.  They need someone older and wiser to come alongside them and teach them truth.  They need someone to love them enough to be honest with them.

They should not be checking both sex boxes on a bullying survey.  They should know from the very start who God made them to be, and take delight in their uniqueness.  They should be told the truth.  They are worth the truth.

I imagine I’ll lose some readers over this post, but the day I begin to care more about my stats than about the truth, I’ve made my blog into a god.  That’s the day I need to delete my blog, because I only want to serve one God.

If you care about kids and want them to know the truth, then share this.  Someone needs to hear it.

Because I care,

Harley Dreams

10 May

The other day I went to the Harley Davidson shop with my husband.  I don’t like it there, but I do it to keep my marriage sweet, just like he sometimes gets out of the car and actually enters Hobby Lobby.  I think he’s mildly allergic to Hobby Lobby, because he gets goose bumps and starts to sweat as soon as the front doors part to allow him entrance.  He must have spent too much time eating glue and crayons as a child, because he now has an aversion to anything that may resemble arts & crafts.

It’s ok though.  I don’t expect him to love Hobby Lobby, just like he doesn’t expect me to love Harley.  He drooled over the bikes and I, well, I just drooled.  I realize some women love to ride bikes.  They aren’t born with birth marks, they are born with tattoos and black boots.  I’m just not that into it.  I have a hard enough time driving a car with four wheels; I don’t even want to imagine me on two wheels.  Know what I mean?  I wouldn’t just need a helmet, I’d need full-body armor.

I’ve only ridden a motorcycle once and I wasn’t driving.  I was hanging on for dear life and screaming, “Don’t lean!  Don’t lean!  I’m goooonnnnnaaaa dieeeeeeeeeee…..!!!”

I can honestly say, I have no desire to get back on a bike.

What about you?  Do you go spend time someplace with your husband just because you know he loves it there?

Do you ride?  If so, tell us why you love it.  Win me over to the dark side with your story. ;-)

In Honor of Mother’s Day – Things My Mama Taught Me

8 May

When the telephone rings, the world is a good and happy place – wrongs are righted, arguments cease, and tears dry.

My childhood is laced with moments of awe as I watched my mother transform from a fire-breathing – I’m going to half-kill you for that! – What were you ever thinking? – Drop your draws, because you’re getting a beating!! – dragon into a pearl wearin’, child lovin’, Bible totin’ mama.

At the first “Bring, bring…,” hope stirred in my tummy. By the second “Bring, bring…,” I could see the fire fading. And by the third “Bring, bring…,” I knew salvation was nigh.

Rubbing my happy heiney, I’d run from the kitchen and leave the strange, but thoroughly lovable Donna Reed to her conversation. I stand assured that I wouldn’t be alive today if it were not for the telephone. I only wish we had cell phones.

I owe Graham Bell a thank you card.

**************************

Never be ashamed to show your true colors.

During the longest, hottest part of several summers, my aunt and grandparents whisked my cousin, my brother, and myself off to the Jersey Shore for a vacation. We splashed in the water while our skin baked to a warm pink. We raced on the boardwalk looking for samples of fudge and taffy. At night, we threw coins in arcade machines faster than grownups could say no. We had pure summer fun.

One sunny afternoon shines a little brighter than the rest.

The phone rang.

My mother called to tell us her exciting news. She painted the living room a surprise color and couldn’t wait to show us. For the rest of our ten days at the beach, I thought about color.

Sky blues, sandy beiges, milky cloud whites, chlorine greens, and swimsuit pinks blurred my vision of home. I couldn’t wait to see what my mother had done.

What had my mother done?

Our living room shone a tangelo orange well past labor day’s no-more-bright-colors rule. My uncle wore sunglasses in our house until his eyes adjusted (for about a year), and I saw that style and color are personal choices.

No matter good reason, show your color!

**************************

Life may hurt and tears will come, but always know “You’ll Live.”

I wasn’t a reckless child, but I sure was clumsy. Family would tease me for having two left feet and if I’m honest, my pigeon toes did not help keep me upright.

I fell up the flight of stairs to our apartment. I fell down the flight of stairs at school. I tripped in parking lots, scraped my knees playing jump rope, and twisted my ankles walking down the street. Bruises, scrapes, and cuts were the defining marks of me. Strong bones and springy muscles spared me real harm; however, my young body hurt.

Before my tenth birthday, I cried more tears of shame than pain.

No matter the fall, no matter the blood, no matter the tears, my mother would always glance my way and say, “You’ll live!”

I didn’t get Barbie bandages or healing treats, but I learned to get back up and carry on. Life doesn’t stand still for bumped and bruised girls; life goes on.

I’ve never forgotten the message. Even now, when I want to succumb to a heap of tear-stained whines, my mind reminds me – I’ll live. So I get up and go on.

And those are a few lessons I learned from my mother.

Thank you mom!

I’m linking with Mama Kat today.  Click on Mama Kat’s button and go read lots of other stories about lovely moms.

Now I know you learned some lessons from your mama too.  Share in the comments!

The Age of Invention

1 May

Hat Invention

I often wonder how some of the great inventors of old managed to create anything without duct tape.  It seems the perfect substance.

My son has used up so much duct tape, I feel like I should send him to live with the Redneck Chic.  First the wallets and now this!

In case you’re wondering what “this” is, it’s your ordinary all-purpose hat.  It comes complete with a fan in case you’re hot (or someone sitting near you is hot), a light for when you want to go spelunking (or take a trip into the back of the closet), and it has a hands-free drink machine.  This hat is fashion meets MacGuyver, and it’s all held together with duct tape.

This hat comes complete with two battery packs, one for the light and one for the fan.  I believe he also has a pocket for a batter charger.  What more could you need?

It’s the hat of the future!

Do your kids like to make things too?  I honestly believe my son enjoys taking toys apart and using their pieces more than he enjoys the toys.

Who Cut the Cheese?

30 Apr

Are we crazy?

Why of course not.  Why do you ask?

Silly Face @ Awana

Sunday night we attended an Awana awards banquet.  Awana is a children’s program run through a church.  All throughout the year, the kids memorize Bible verses, play games, and do all sorts of silly super-fun things, but it’s not just fun and games.  The kids are on teams and they earn individual and team points for everything from wearing their uniform t-shirt to winning a game of dodge ball.  Although for some of the kids it’s quite competitive, I have a sneaking suspicion my son attends just for the dodge ball games.

When we walked into the gymnasium Sunday night, long tables were covered into bright green cloths with tissue paper pop-poms making everything look bright and cheery and quiet fain-cy.  Toys and games were piled high in the front of the gym.  A large screen was set up and photos of children, leaders, and parents from throughout the year flashed for our enjoyment.  The kids excitement could be felt.

So we found a few seats at a table filled with children and made ourselves comfortable.  Bowls of nuts and m&m’s were scattered around the table, an appetizer of sorts.  I took a handful nuts, just so I could get a few of those m&m’s in the mix.  FringeMan spied a little dish across the table and said, “Oh, I’m gonna grab a slice of cheese.”

He took the neat little white square and popped it in his mouth faster than I could say, “That’s butter!”

Too late.

He looked over to me, eyes wide with surprise, and said, “That’s not cheese.”

All the kids laughed and laughed.

I said, “You know that’s making the blog cut this week.”

The moral of the story:  If in doubt about the little white squares, ask a kid to try it first.

Once we moved past appetizers, the food was lovely.  A brownie sundae rounded out the meal.  While we were eating our ice-cream, one of the girls at our table looked at FringeMan and asked, “What land are you from?”

“What land am I from?”  FringeMan questioned in confusion.

“He’s out of this world, honey.”  I answered for him.

Really, we cannot blame her for wondering where FringeMan came from.  After all, he eats pats of butter.

By the end of the night, FringeKid won a fluffy white bunny and FringeBoy came home with an automatic pitch machine, the kind you use for baseball practice.

He went up to fetch his award, and when he sat back down, he held up his pitching machine and said, “Awesome!  Look at my new cannon.”

And sure enough, FringeMan took quite a few shots from the “cannon” when we came home.

But the question still begs to be answered.  Who cut the cheese anyway?

Now tell me your family has crazy tendencies too.  Is it just us?  Anyone else ever mistake a slice of butter for cheese?

BTW If you invite us over for dinner, just leave the butter in stick form.  I promise none of us will pick it up and start chomping away.

Bat Blood on My Couch

27 Apr

Good glory the end is near!

There was a bat in my house tonight.  A. BAT!

Help me Lord.  This is not funny.  I don’t deal well with wild animals, especially wild animals that carry rabies and fly around in the night.  One lone bat could fly into my hair and get lost for a week.  I don’t know what I would do if that happened, but lighting my hair on fire would not be too extreme.

That bat could have flown into my children’s rooms and sucked their very life from their small pumping veins.  Oh, wait.  Maybe that’s a vampire. Same difference in my book.

Now we don’t know how the bat entered the house, a small unknown that will keep me up for the next three months straight.  Most likely, it came in on a pile of wood my son carried in from the garage after school.  He filled a tote with wood, brought it in and then filled another tote and placed it on top of the first.  All evening I’ve thrown wood on the fire from the top tote, but I came up to bed to do Zentangle.  FringeMan removed the top tote, so the bat could have warmed itself by my fire and then taken flight to kill us all.

I may never rest easy again.

I know some of you have had bats in your houses and attics, but I really, really, really don’t even like mosquitoes let alone a flying creature of the night.

FringeMan was sitting in his recliner doing schoolwork when something whizzed past his head.  He felt the breeze, heard the sound (deadly wings flapping in the night).  When he looked up, he realize there was a bat in the room, so he went and got the dustpan.  He knocked it out of the air and it landed on its back on my couch.  My NEW couch.  Could this story get any more gruesome?

Yes, because then he scooped it into one of my nice big glass mugs.  You know my lips ain’t ever touching that.  After he released the bat, the mug went right to the trash, the outside trash.

The funny thing is that I was upstairs with a set of headphones in my ears listening to classical music.  Classical music.  Could this night get any weirder?  I don’t even like classical music.  Apparently FringeMan was downstairs yelling for me the entire time.  I heard not a sound.  Thank you FringeMan for being my knight in shining armor and slaying my dragons bats.

I’m still totally freaking out.  Like gag me with a spoon and throw bat blood on my couch.

Thankfully there’s no blood on the couch.  If there were, you would hear my wails of anguish.

Now please excuse me while I go sell my house and move anywhere bats do not live.

Do you have one, a story with a wild animal invading your privacy?  Share it please.  Tell me you had a brush with nature and lived to tell the tale.

Pie Squared = A Slice of Apple & Cherry

26 Apr

I may be smarter than a fifth grader, but I’m definitely not smarter than a sixth grader.  Maybe I can get a refund for all those years I spent in school.

My son came home with this math problem tonight and asked me for help.  I looked at it, scratched my head a few times, and talked it through with him…talking things through with him is a secret weapon I employ when I don’t know the answer.  Usually once I get him talking, he comes to the correct conclusion himself.  Not this time.  The problem had something to do with pie.  Apple pie or cherry pie?  That’s what I wanted to know.

I simply couldn’t remember how to work the equation, so I sent him to ask his father.  FringeMan said, “I haven’t looked at a problem like this in thirty years.  I have no idea how to do it.”

Ya, we definitely need a refund on that education, but it also tell me I was on to something in the tenth grade.  I was certain I would never use the math I was learning, and so far, I’m right.

Hope my math teacher isn’t reading.

I only wish the teachers would photocopy the page with the instructions on it.  That would help so much.  If I can just get an explanation or see one problem solved, I can figure it out, but no luck.

I was never good at math anyhoo.

My son wants me to tell you a little story, not a math story.  He thinks it’s funny.  Me, not so much.  FringeMan thinks it’s even less funny than I do.

We get no less than a thousand random papers coming home from school everyday.  Public schools teach environmentalism starting in Kindergarten, but they kill more trees than all the loggers in Maine.  True story.  For the record, I’m not against logging.  Loggers are very conscious of their surroundings.  They live off the land; they love the land.  They have lots of rules about where and how much they can take from a forest, so I believe little of the radical environmental propaganda that’s always spouted every time someone gets a hold of a microphone.

Anyway.

The other day my daughter brought home a pile of papers and I realized they were having a meeting for parents in the school library on Tuesday night.  I was going and I planned on dragging FringeMan along, because I’m social.  I like to do things in groups.  I never outgrew my teenage years when I traveled in a pack.

I made dinner early.  FringeMan came home early.

Just as we were about to walk out the door, I ran to get the paper to double-check the time.  I’m famous for mixing up times, but I was 99.99% certain the meeting began at 6pm.

I was right.  It was 6pm, but the meeting was last Tuesday.  Ugh.  It’s not even like the time I chicken danced my way into the slow-cooker.  My daughter never gave me the paper on time.  She was a week late.

So that’s my story.  Not funny unless you’re twelve and my son, but I did think this was funny.

Source: google.com via Ryan on Pinterest

Have you had any mix-ups lately?

And do tell, how often do you use equations with pie, or maybe that’s pi?  ;-)

Artificiality

23 Apr

Stone Mountain, Georgia

Artificiality

~ by FringeBoy

I went to McDonald’s one Saturday night.

I walked up to the counter and ordered a tea.

The awful stuff gave me quite a fright,

For what I was drinking was pure artificiality.

I spit it out on the floor.

I said, “Adios” and

I walked out the door.

____________________________________________

First, I would like to say how pleased I am that my son expressed himself through poetry.  He wrote this a little while back and I just ran across it once again.  I’m 100% on board with his thought process.  I believe McDonald’s is artificial; however, who goes McDonald’s and orders only “tea”?

French Fries – Definitely.

A Big Mac – OK.

A Chocolate Shake – Very Likely.

But TEA?

He must have visited a British McDonald’s.  It’s the only explanation.

We’re certainly not poets in our house, but creativity sideswipes us sometimes.  Even my daughter was writing acrostic poetry tonight.  Although my children seems to be getting groovy with their words, don’t expect to hear them at any coffee shop readings.  We’re just not that cool.  But, we do drink tea.  That must count for something.

How about you?

Are you smitten with poetry?

Do your words pour forth in iambic pentameter?

On a scale from 1-10, how groovy are you?

I’m about a -2.

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