Since I haven’t gotten any exercise since my last dream, I figured my legs needed a workout. After all jiggling is only fashionable when it comes to jello. I don’t want anyone to mistake me for a life size jello jiggler. FringeMan might get jealous if random people start poking me.
So, I hauled my lazy butt off the couch and into the gym. I’m taking it slow. Last week I sat in the parking lot. Today I moved into the gym and cozied up with a magazine. I hadn’t been to the gym in so long I couldn’t find my card. It probably went to live in someone else’s wallet where it can see the light of day once in a while.
After being assulted by the smell of sweat and reprimanded by the guy behind the desk (No card), I remembered why it is that I hate exercise; however, I do love the gym. So many personalities get corralled in one room that things are bound to get interesting. Legs are racing, hearts are pumping, and arms are hanging onto machines for dear life.
Apparently when a middle-aged woman’s heart rate reaches 140 bpm’s, all inhibitions flee. The soon to be divorced gym owner/operator hasn’t even emptied his drawer of boxers (his wife’s getting the house) and he’s got women hanging from him like candy canes hung from my Christmas tree. It amazed me how many reasons there are for a woman to hug an eligible man.
He was comforted I’m sure.
Have you ever seen a skeleton sweat?
I have. Yes-sir-ee.
One of my favorite characters is a real live female skeleton . I’m sure she’s fat. Her scale told her so just this morning and again when she got to the gym and it will be waiting to remind her when she’s finished her workout. Bones poke out in a directions as she runs until the treadmill whines in protest. When the treadmill needs a break, she hops on the stairmaster. I’m convinced this skeleton will run right into her grave. It bothers me. I feel as though I should donate cellulite, muscle, and FOOD.
I pondered the fact that a group of intelligent adults will congregate, sweat together, undress in front of each other, and allow fitness “trainers” to gauge their fat.
What is happening to our species?
I’ll share my thoughts in another post or this could go on indefinitely.
You’re welcome.
P.S. Thank you all for commenting on yesterday’s post. I enjoyed meeting all you lurkers who were brave enough to come forward. It enabled me to connect with a new bloggy friend from Maine and read some awesome posts written by YOU. So, I say thanks.
