Good glory the end is near!
There was a bat in my house tonight. A. BAT!
Help me Lord. This is not funny. I don’t deal well with wild animals, especially wild animals that carry rabies and fly around in the night. One lone bat could fly into my hair and get lost for a week. I don’t know what I would do if that happened, but lighting my hair on fire would not be too extreme.
That bat could have flown into my children’s rooms and sucked their very life from their small pumping veins. Oh, wait. Maybe that’s a vampire. Same difference in my book.
Now we don’t know how the bat entered the house, a small unknown that will keep me up for the next three months straight. Most likely, it came in on a pile of wood my son carried in from the garage after school. He filled a tote with wood, brought it in and then filled another tote and placed it on top of the first. All evening I’ve thrown wood on the fire from the top tote, but I came up to bed to do Zentangle. FringeMan removed the top tote, so the bat could have warmed itself by my fire and then taken flight to kill us all.
I may never rest easy again.
I know some of you have had bats in your houses and attics, but I really, really, really don’t even like mosquitoes let alone a flying creature of the night.
FringeMan was sitting in his recliner doing schoolwork when something whizzed past his head. He felt the breeze, heard the sound (deadly wings flapping in the night). When he looked up, he realize there was a bat in the room, so he went and got the dustpan. He knocked it out of the air and it landed on its back on my couch. My NEW couch. Could this story get any more gruesome?
Yes, because then he scooped it into one of my nice big glass mugs. You know my lips ain’t ever touching that. After he released the bat, the mug went right to the trash, the outside trash.
The funny thing is that I was upstairs with a set of headphones in my ears listening to classical music. Classical music. Could this night get any weirder? I don’t even like classical music. Apparently FringeMan was downstairs yelling for me the entire time. I heard not a sound. Thank you FringeMan for being my knight in shining armor and slaying my
I’m still totally freaking out. Like gag me with a spoon and throw bat blood on my couch.
Thankfully there’s no blood on the couch. If there were, you would hear my wails of anguish.
Now please excuse me while I go sell my house and move anywhere bats do not live.
Do you have one, a story with a wild animal invading your privacy? Share it please. Tell me you had a brush with nature and lived to tell the tale.