Tag Archives: News

American Print Media Obsessed

26 Jan

I have no right to be a critic.  I am under skilled and over (or is that overly?) opinionated; however, my love for print media sometimes leaves me longing.

America obsesses with cutting fat and self-help.  Don’t worry ladies, I’m not even hinting at cutting out chocolate and potato chips.  I’m talking about fat in writing.

I’ve sat through all the college classes that taught me to cut unnecessary words (obviously I pay no mind to those rules) and eliminate ‘fat’ from our articles.  Heaven forbid our story is a size 14 instead of a size 4.

Most editors would die of fright if they were assigned my blog or yours.  They like neat little concise gifts of journalism in 500 words or less.

We’re losing something.  As we cut fat, slivers of meat follow.  Suddenly our writing is skin and bones, absolutely boring to look at and tiring to read.

Magazines are filled with countless self-help articles.

How My Woodstove Ruined My Nails in 300 Words

Help Johnny Overcome His Fear of The Toilet in 5 Flushes

10 Ways to Say I Love You, but I Hate Your Dog

Be Bikini Ready in Time for Your Grave

Don’t even tell me you only read Christian literature, because it’s just as bad.

Knowing God’s Will in Ninety Days

7 Ways to Raise Kids Who Will Attend Church

12 Envelopes to Financial Freedom

How To Masquerade as a Proverbs 31 Woman in 31 Days

We’re obsessed with these heartless, but neatly wrapped articles that help us do everything from birth a baby in a bathtub to walk the streets of gold in stilettos.

Is anyone else tired of reading this gibberish?

Maybe it’s just me.  I kind of long for the days when slighty wordy short stories, written by aspiring writers, appeared in monthly magazines.  I’d like for people to stop fixing me and start entertaining me with words, or challenging my depth of knowledge without planning my next 10, 30, or 90 days.

I honestly do not think most magazines are worth the $4.95 we are asked to pay for them.

Don’t even get me started on newspapers!

I’m always amazed when I read an article, glom all kinds of superficial facts and have no idea what is really going on or why the article was written in the first place.

Most of our print news media is self-help or tabloid, and I include CNN in that tabloid lot.  Take a gander at the headlines.

Come to think of it, I should have written this article in the format of -

8 Ways The Media Failed Me and My Fat

Alas, my rant is over in less than 500 words.  My editor will be pleased.

Thoughts and comments welcome, as long as they are in 3 Easy Steps or Less. ;-)

Are 200 more years possible? – Our Town’s Bicentennial Bash

6 Jun

Happy Birthday to Our Town,

Happy Birthday to Our Town,

Happy Birthday dear Our Town,

Happy 200th Birthday to You!

This weekend marked the 200th birthday of a little city in central New York.  Once upon a time this small city wasn’t so small.  It bustled with the thrill of new birth, a city blooming in the sweet-smelling spring of dairy country.

The keepers of time in the Historical Society tell us that our town, birthed by heroes of the Revolution, thrived economically and socially.  They display ancient photographs of men and women wearing lavish and sometimes funny time-period outfits.  Local classrooms file in and out, catching a glimpse into a time past, but not forgotten.  Boys hold muskets and gaze at display cases overflowing with shiny pieces of local crystal named ‘diamonds‘.

Our town had life, new life.

The busy and bustle of main street, now almost folklore, waits ready on the lips of the older folk, keepers of secrets that need to be shared.  They know, want us to know – it was a great town.

Opera houses and a lighted Main Street flaunted the prosperity of old.  Now that same Main Street sits nearly empty, vacant of smiling faces and thrilling voices.

For many, the dream of a small town comeback is alive.  We want what has been, used to be – the good – the memories – the happy and successful – the people.

I’m not sure what has been can ever be again.  Pining for the good ole’ days of yore doesn’t work.

We cannot recreate the past, but we can hope for the future.  We can do more than dream; we can welcome and encourage.  We can fight for our future and foster new birth.

We can create good, unique and fresh.

We can give a new generation the chance to prove that they’ve learned from the rich heritage of our town and can step forward for the good of the community…the good of our future.

We celebrated 200 years with parades, hotdogs, and fireworks.  We dug up a time capsule and planted a new one for our children’s children.  We honored yesterday with abandon.  I only hope we will invest the same energy and love into tomorrow.

We want what has been, but shouldn’t we long for what can be?

Are 200 more good years possible?

I don’t know.  I’m a new comer, seeing with fresh eyes.  While the possibilities spread as wide as the corn fields, personalities draw in our borders, protecting an ideal that no longer exists.

Maybe we just need to eat another hotdog, drink a glass of milk, and look back one more time; however, I hope that in looking back, we see sparkles of hope and dreams for tomorrow.

There’s a new generation counting on 200 more years.

******************

What did you do this weekend? 

Clearly I had a good time.  I was even interviewed for the nightly news.  The reporter made the mistake of asking me if I had anything else to say.  I’m glad my husband wasn’t around for the interview, because he would have forewarned the reporter.  I didn’t even get to see my five-minutes of fame.  Isn’t that the way life works?  Sometimes we do the work and miss the reward.  No worries though, I don’t like how I look on camera.  :-)

Happy 200th Birthday Little Falls!

Dear Mr. President…

1 Jun

Dear Mr. President:

As a result of the economic turbulence in our great country, the FringeFamily is experiencing a minor financial crisis.  We have drastically cut corners, reducing the amount of outgoing monthly funds.  We are recycling everything from cotton-balls to paper lunch bags and there is much in between, namely underwear which can only be reused so many times before a public health hazard occurs.  Since the Swine Flu epidemic continues, it would be in the best interest of our country not to create anymore public health risks.

Unlike General Motors, we are not petitioning our government for 30 Billion dollars in aide; however, we are asking for a mere three thousand dollars. What the FringeFamily needs is not a personal stake in a car manufacturer, but cold cash.  In fact freshly printed warm cash would work just fine.

Since our government is getting more like McDonald’s everyday, serving billions and billions, such a small request should be granted with the same service and smile we receive at the Golden Arches.  Understand that we make this request not for personal gain, but for the well-being of our children.  They’ve been reduced to eating peanut butter sandwiches, risking not only food poisoning, but possible childhood obesity.  This three thousand dollars will keep the FringeKids in hot lunches and their parents, who have repeatedly watched “Fun With Dick & Jane“, out of jail for theft.

Thank you for this small personal bailout.  It is merely the crumbs or loose change found in the back seat of GM’s cars.  Remember, you will not only be affecting a family, but a community, a state, and a nation.

With much respect and anticipation,

The FringeFamily

 

Readers:  Don’t take this letter too seriously.  My kids are not on the brink of starvation and Fringeman and I promise not to rob any banks.  PROMISE!

Lethal Love

31 Oct

I’m a lover not a fighter, except for about one week per month.  Even during that dreadful week of hormonal upheaval (and I do mean DREADFUL…imagine tiny droplets of blood dripping from the R, A, & F), I LOVE my husband.  I do not wish him bodily harm for my personal gain, nor do I consciously plot to eliminate him at my earliest possible convenience.  Now there’s no telling what my subconscious is thinking, but let’s not discuss that right now.

Today I bring you another chapter in Long Island Love Stories, only this time it’s ripped right from the headlines (Law & Order aren’t the only ones reading the papers).  If you haven’t read my Long Island Love Stories, what in the world are you waiting for?  Yes, click that link and then hurry back to read this next tale of love. 

You really will appreciate this news article more after reading a Long Island Love Story.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081030/ap_on_re_us/teacher_killed

What can I say?  I know you thought I was exaggerating when I accused the yard-saler of dime shopping while her husband suffered symptoms of a heart attack.  I also suspect that you surmised my story of Deli Love was a fabrication of my imagination.

Now I’ve proof!  The media supports my theory that marriage may be lethal…at least on Long Island.

Go now; give your boyfriend or hubby a kiss (Not both! One or the other…boyfriend OR hubby.)  Since I believe in equal time for both sexes, guys give your wives or girlfriends a kiss (not the kiss of death).  This weekend be a lover, not a fighter.

Do you think men may secretly read this blog?  I don’t know.  They run scared the minute you mention h-o-r-m-o-n-e-s.

On a lighter, somewhat spookier note, I’ll have “dress-up” pictures posted Saturday.  Hope you all get lots of good candy.  Honestly, I just hope my kids get lots of chocolate.  I’m going to need it!

 

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