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Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

This week the FringeFamily will get to experience winter and spring all in the same week. It’s pretty incredible really. Monday was snow flurries and Thursday will be fifty-seven degrees. That’s shorts weather in these parts.

Apparently the excitement in my life has hit an all-time low, because I feel the need to blog about the weather.

I did beat my kids in a riveting game of Monopoly on Sunday afternoon. I’m not sure what’s more exciting than swindling a ten year-old out of St. James Place, because you need it in order to buy a house.

Monopoly is our go-to game. I think every family has a certain game that the kids gravitate towards when they are bored. I only wish our go-to game was tic-tac-toe. I’m confident in my ability to come out a champ in that game, not to mention it’s about 3 hours 28 and half minutes shorter.

FringeKid always adds her own unique spin to the game. The boot, bag o’ money, and top-hat aren’t good enough for her. She insists on using characters with bug eyes and flashy colors. At times she insists we all use them.

It’s a direct reflection of her personality, but while she may look goofy, she has all the Chance and Community Chest good luck fairies on her side. She generally only buys railroads, never bothers with property that requires houses, and hoards stacks of money. She never ever picks a card that send her to jail without passing Go. Dare I admit I get a little frustrated with my daughter’s lack of strategy and luck of the draw?

Even FringeBoy gets a bit annoyed by her good fortune.

And don’t let her fool you, it’s not just Monopoly she’s good at. She sweeps hand after hand of UNO without giving one thought to the cards she’s throwing down.

I guess we must come to terms with the fact that she’s a natural-born winner and we may be not so natural.

So while we began this week with snow and board games, we may finish it with sunshine and a swim.

You just never know what excitement lies around the next cold front.

What about you and your family? How are you passing the long cold days of winter? Or are you a lucky dog living in a place with palm trees and blue skies?

On a serious note, my heart is sad for those whose lives have been forever changed because of tornadoes. My thoughts are with them and my prayers for them.

Comments 9 Comments
Categories Family

I am Versatile…I Think That’s Good

2 Mar

I am a bad blogger, because sometimes people give me nice awards and I ignore them. Well, I say “thank you” and then I have every intention of following the award rules, but good intentions get me nowhere. So if you’ve ever passed an award on to me, please know, I appreciate the thought; however I probably never got around to doing anything with that reward. I’m a bad, bad blogger. That’s all.

If it makes you feel any better, I lost the bowling trophy I got when I was eleven too. Never stick me with a blue ribbon, because chances are it will go the way of the lost and never found.

Today is a new day though. It’s Friday and I’ve decided to bite the bullet and be a good blogger. You see, JeanDayFriday gave me an award last week, the versatile blogger award. I was honored, because if there’s one thing I strive for on The Domestic Fringe, it’s versatility. One day it’s all how I lost my skinny mirror and then next it’s about the church. One minute I’m talking about going to the pig races and then next day I’m chasing my husband around and leaving steamy letters in his car. It’s versatility!

For the longest time I thought it was ADD, but nope. I’m pretty glad it’s not ADD, because as far as I know, there aren’t any awards for having a short attention span. It’s versatility and there’s an award for it.

According to the rules, I must tell you 7 things about myself. That’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve already made my confessions HERE and HERE. I’ve told you everything!

So…here goes…some of this you’ve heard before, but I’ve had a surge (that’s a relative term) of new subscribers, so this may be new to you. Hopefully.

1. I went to an extremely small private high school and graduated with one other person. I was related to him. You can imagine the fight to be named valedictorian.

2. When FringeMan and I bought our first home in Maine, the realtor wanted us to dance around the closing table. Naked. (I wrote about it HERE.) That’s why we moved. No, I’m kidding. We love Maine. I lived there for six years. I’ve also lived in Florida for a few, but I was born and raised in New York.

3. I have a history of unfortunate events. Some call it bad luck, but I don’t believe it luck. Take for example – someone spit from the top of the staircase inside the Statue of Liberty and the spit landed right in my hair. I was also stuck in a very cramped, hot, and smelly elevator in the Empire State Building. The elevator just kept going up and down, up and down. I’ve also had birds poop on me, snow plows spray me with road grimed precipitation, and once my airplane hit a flock of geese and we had to make an emergency landing. Trouble follows me.

4. I have a clumsy side. I try to keep it secret, but every once in a while, it gets out…like the time I was eating in a restaurant and I lit a bread basket on fire. They shouldn’t put candles on the table. Fire is dangerous you know!

5. For the last 3 months of my second pregnancy, I shared concerns with my doctor over the size of my belly and consequently the baby within. Each time she assured me there was nothing to worry about. While lying in a hospital bed about to deliver, my doctor walked in, put her hand on my arm and said, “I want to talk to you about the size of this baby. I think it may be too big.”

NOW you tell me?

You can read my baby story here. My daughter was a whopper.

6. I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. I like their accent.

7. Random strangers tell me their problems. One pre-Christmas season I demonstrated toys in Waly-Mart. It was a desperate attempt to earn money and it worked. If counselors need clients, they should stand around retail stores with toys in their hands. It’s amazing the tales I heard – death, infidelity, parenting problems, health issues, marriage mishaps, motor-vehicle accidents, and on and on. Just today, the cashier in the grocery store told me her boyfriend lives off her. I think people are just desperate for someone to listen to their story. They should try blogging.

Now I am to nominate other bloggers for this prestigious award.

And I nominate:

Loyalist Cottage – go check out her pillows. They were featured in a magazine and are all the rage. You need one or maybe three. I’m sure of it!

Sugar Blossom Boutique – a lovely blog I recently discovered.

Breakfast with Tiffany – I stumbled across her blog and realized we both went to the same college. There were more than two people in my graduating class. Just wanted to let you know.

Let it be Lovely - She just did an amazing job organizing her desk. You should see her mail solutions – lovely, just like the name of her blog says.

Mamas Minutia - She’s the most amazing cook ever. I think I’ve gained 10 pounds since reading her blog. She’s also a fun mom who belly dances. How cool is she?

Withywindle – her tag line says “finding cheer and art in everyday”. Nothing better than that.

Keiko Lynn – A fun fashion blog I’ve recently discovered.

The Goat and The Kid – A brand new to me blog that I am enjoying.

Beautifully Rooted - A place of inspiration for your heart, mind, and soul.

Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife – Sara always writes insightful posts. Go visit her. Your heart will be full by the time you leave.

Broken Poet – Laura is the best! She’s a makeup artist, a young wife, and a beautiful woman. She makes the best tutorial videos ever. She’ll teach you how to do your hair and makeup and enjoy life.

If you’ll notice, I started this list with a mom and ended this list with her daughter. I think that’s just perfect.

So, thank you dear blog readers for the awards past and present. I’ll try to be better about accepting them and passing them along.

Have a great weekend!

Comments 11 Comments
Categories Passions

Try Something New

19 Feb

Via Pinterest by weheartit.com

I’ve been commissioned to try something new and then write an article about my experience with this new thing.

Easy, right?

Well, not so much.

It’s the “new thing” that can get tricky.

via Pinterest by quickmeme.com

I have an idea. I’ve even started work on it, but I thought I should broaden my horizons. Just in case. You know? I’d hate for my “one thing” to turn into a total flop. Then all I’ll have to write about is a one-flop failure. No fun!

So here’s where you come in.

I’m asking you nicely.

Please suggest something “new” for me to learn to do.

If your suggestion makes the cut, I will…I’m not sure yet, but you can at least know you’ve saved a girl from failure. That’s enough reward, isn’t it?

I love you guys. Be kind with your suggestions.

Comments 11 Comments
Categories Passions

Just so you know I didn’t jump off a bridge…

25 Jan

Ok, last post was pretty depressing. Sorry about that. I’m taking full liberty with my calendar and blaming it on January, but I have birthday party for my son this weekend and there’s no time to be sad and moody.

This may be the most random post in the history of the fringe, but work with me people. The last post had me giving up on life. This has to be an improvement.

* I’ve discovered the cure for stomach problems that have plagued me for years. I have what they term IBS. I won’t get into it, because it would be like discussions around a holiday table with my family.

Just know that heartburn and other issues plague me, no matter what I eat; however, I started a diet on January 2. Don’t get excited, because I’ve only lost 4 pounds. You can tell I cheat a lot.

image via Pinterest

My point is that on the days I’m on my diet, I eat about 6 times throughout the course of the day, but I only consume about 1400-1500 calories. That means I eat really low-calorie, but filling things in small portions. It totally cures my stomach ills. The moment I over-eat or just eat 3 normal size portions, I’m sick. It’s incredible.

Who knew I would have to become a bird after I turned thirty. No one told me!

image via Pinterest

* I really am trying to stick to my diet, but it’s hard. You know? I’m more like a turkey than I am a parakeet. FringeMan wishes I was more of a love bird, but that’s another story.

* I’m thinking all “love” posts for February. Now don’t get panicky and jump ship (no offense Mr. Italian Captain), because I’m not going mushy for a whole month. There’s lots to love in this world, and I’m trying to tap my elusive creative side.

* I’ve decided that I want a really cute new pair of shoes and a new bag for my birthday. My birthday is in February, but I’ll probably shop in April or so. That’s what happens when your birthday is after Christmas and both your children’s birthdays. It’s all good with me though. I think it prolongs the aging process. I gain a few months, because a birthday isn’t a birthday until you’ve bought yourself a present.

Someone needs to write that down and claim it.

* I don’t know where to shop for cute shoes and a bag. I’m looking for stylin’, groovin’, chic, classy, comfortable, cute, trendy shoes. I’m thinking Anthropologie on a Payless budget.

Help a girl out. Suggest a few places please.

I know Payless has some cute shoes. I’ve seen them on bloggers, but my Payless pretty much specializes in sneakers and lame-oh shoes. Sorry Payless. I know you purchase especially for the clientele you sell to, but there are a few of us who don’t where our pajamas grocery shopping.

Maybe that was mean, but I’ve taken to counting how many people I see in pj’s in Wal-Mart. Is that snobby of me?

I simply have a difficult time understanding why people want to be seen in public looking like that. I hide from mirrors in my own home when I look like that.

* I bought a box of ‘Cuties’ at the grocery store today. Everyone’s been raving about them. So far they live up to their name, but I haven’t eaten one yet. I’ll let you know.

Now it’s your turn – What’s the random in your life?

And, don’t tell me if you wear pajamas to the grocery store.

Ok, you can tell me, but I’m adding another check mark to my list and you’ll end up in my total number of pj wearers. Just a warning.

Thank you all for your kind comments yesterday. I appreciate each of you.

Comments 12 Comments
Categories Life

Focusing on the Positives

24 Jan

My life is crumbling to teeny-tiny pieces around me, and I made waffles for dinner last night.

Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating, but I did make waffles last night and they weren’t even that good. I ran out of white flour and used all whole wheat. I like to split my flour, half white and half whole wheat; otherwise, I think they are too dense.

Sorry all you healthy eating people, but I’m just not that good of a mom. I continue to give my children white flour, knowing full well it is a simple carb.

Tie me to the simple woman stake and burn me.

I bet you can’t tell I’m trying to focus on the positive side of things.

No, I didn’t think you could, but I am.

That’s why I haven’t been writing anything on this here blog. My mama always said, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

I am silent.

For how long, I know not. I may continue my vow of silence until the sun shines again or my hormones go on an upswing. It’s hard to tell.

In the meantime, I wish you all well. Live fully and don’t eat too much white flour. I hear it’s bad for you.

Love you all,

Comments 14 Comments
Categories Life

2012: Six Things on my New To-DO List

3 Jan

So, it’s 2012. I’m having a touch of difficulty wrapping my mind around our new year. Wasn’t it was just 2000? I mean, could it have been that long ago?

I’m sure a few people still have canned corn and ammunition tucked away in their basement. On the eve of the last end of the world, I was too pregnant to care about computers crashing and people looting for food. All that fighting for survival seemed easier than finishing my last seven weeks of pregnancy.

It just seems like twelve years ago was yesterday…makes me feel like I’ll be turning ninety in February instead of my usual twenty-nine.

Truth be told, and I’m a blogger who emotionally dumps words on a page, I was feeling pretty bummed about 2011. I just didn’t feel like I accomplished enough in a year. After all, these years are fleeting, and I’m almost ninety!

I may have wallowed in unaccomplished despair and self-pity for a ~~hour~~ minute or two on New Year’s Eve, but I got an attitude adjustment when I read Edie’s blog the other night. She said, “God has given me everything I could possibly need in His son. I am forgiven and blessed with the every good gift from the Father. The rest is icing on the cake.”

Did you hear that?

Everything I didn’t do last year or didn’t ‘get’ to do is only icing on the cake anyway. I have everything I could possibly need already. And here’s the bonus – I love cake and icing! It’s great when I get to enjoy the bonus stuff, but I’ve got nothing to worry about when I don’t.

For the record, I have sworn off both icing and cake, and cookies, chips, soda, anything good and tasty, etc. I will shed a few pounds this new year. Hopefully twenty-five, but I’m realistic. I’ll be happy with ten.

Did you make an resolutions?

The word “resolution” sounds all important and bona-fide, doesn’t it?

I’m not really making any resolutions this year, because let’s face it, in my house resolution means lie. I never keep long-term resolutions. I am refocusing myself on some goals though.

1. I need to finish a book. I have 30,000 words written on one book and 20,000 on another. One of those books needs to make it to 50-60,000 words in 2012. It’s a must do, even if just for myself. So I know I can.

2. I need to get more exercise, meaning I need to play Wii dance with my daughter more often. You’d be surprised how much the beach boys and Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold make you move. I just have to remember to close the curtains before we get started. Once, I shocked the mailman a little, and not in a good way.

3. I want to learn Zentangle. Cathy wrote about it and now I can’t get it out of my head. I think it would be so much for FringeKid and I to do on girl’s night. I mean, doodling with purpose? I’m there. You should’ve seen my college notes and don’t even get me started on church bulletins. I could totally rock this art form, because I’ve had mega amounts of experience.

4. I want to do more new things this year, have more experiences. I know it’s kind of vague, but I’m still working out my thoughts. I just want to have lots of good memories to think about when I’m old and fully gray. Before I lose my mind, that is.

5. I want to spend more time having fun with my kids. I mean, they will be teenagers soon and from what I’ve heard, that’s worse than them catching the bubonic plague. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day that I forget to have fun.

6. I want to be thankful. For all things. Everyday. I want thankfulness to become my default.

That’s it. That’s enough for January. Maybe I’ll revamp my list in July.

What about you? What do you want out of 2012?

Comments 5 Comments
Categories Life

Pre-Holiday Kidtastic Crazies

17 Dec

I think Christmas is making me lose my mind just a little bit – not in the traditional “I have so much to do and so many presents to wrap I might have a nervous breakdown” way, but I think I’m getting as nutty as my kids.

They gave me their cold and their kidtastic pre-holiday crazies. Now I’m not only shaking presents, but I’ve also gotten my dog-bark cough back. It’s of the large breed variety that makes me sound like I’m dying of a highly contagious flu. It’s no wonder the line in the post office cleared out when I walked through the doors. I guess it does have its redeeming qualities after all.

The other day I was driving down Main St. and I thought, some people see M&M’s as a bag of little colored candies. I see them as a support group. I don’t know where that thought came from, but I suspect a bumper sticker influenced my thinking in a way that makes me yearn for twelve sessions with a shrink. Do you think Santa will bring me a psychologist for Christmas?

This morning the nice lady across the street brought us over a whole tin of home-made fudge. Bless her heart and my taste buds! It is good. This puts a whole new spin on God’s command to love our neighbors. Right now I love her more than a sunshiny day in July.

Do you know we have no snow? It’s mighty strange. I don’t know what to make of it. All I can do is blame our not-so-white Christmas on El Nino. I also blame him for the lousy burrito I ate at Taco Bell, but that’s another story.

So on a scale from 1 to 5, (5 being done) how prepared are you for Christmas?

I’m also having a hard time trying to decide what to cook on Christmas. Maybe you can help me. Although my husband has filled our freezer with three fresh deer (and he’s trying for more), I don’t think my mom (who isn’t accustomed to eating venison) wants venison on Christmas. So, can you help me think up a festive meal?

Here are the guidelines:

It must be cheap.

It must not contain sour cream.

It must be cheap.

Not so difficult, huh? Go ahead and suggest away. You guys are the bestest!

Comments 5 Comments
Categories Life

Coffee Trails & Other Percolations

2 Dec

This is the kind of morning that drips a coffee trail behind me.

christmas tree

I woke up and went right to the Christmas tree and plugged it in. Everyone knows a lit tree is the perfect start to a day, especially after a night when I didn’t sleep very well. Or maybe I did. Maybe it was just a dream that I didn’t sleep very well. I’ve never thought of that, but now I am.

Hang on, I need to refill that coffee cup.

Ok, I’m back. I decided it wasn’t a dream. It was real life. I’m sure as I’m sure Santa will bring me all the things I’ve *hearted* on Etsy.

So tell me, do you guys have it all together in the Christmas shopping department? Do you start picking out perfect gifts in July and announce in your facebook status update that you are officially ‘Finished Christmas Shopping – WooHoo” by Halloween?

I’m not really like that. I’m kinda/sorta the girl who wanders through the mall on Christmas Eve knowing she has about thirty-two minutes to find perfect, well thought, loving, preferably handmade presents.

I work well under pressure.

I don’t wrap well.

Once I had a job that forced me to (very occasionally) gift-wrap an item for a customer. These people paid for gift-wrapping and got me. I felt so terrible for them, but I won’t bore you with my job-related failures right now; however, speaking of jobs…

Recently my library was looking for a librarian, the person to oversee the entire library, work with the board of directors, and run things. It was a full-time job and I was homeschooling my kids. I couldn’t apply for it, but I asked if they had any part-time positions, because I could definitely do one of those. I would love working around books for about fours hours, five days a week. They said they regretted to tell there were no part-time positions available, but assured me if anyone died or retired, they would give me a call. No one has died or retired.

For the record, I do not wish death or even retirement on any of the nice library people.

The other evening while I was killing time at the library with my kids, a couple came in and asked me a question. Then they said, “You are the librarian, aren’t you?”

What can I say?

“My husband thinks I look like one, but no. Nobody has died or retired; however, I know exactly where the book is that you’re looking for.”

I know what you’re thinking. I should drink more coffee before I sit down to blog. It’s a good idea. I think I’ll sit on the couch with my coffee and look at Christmas lights. Only I can’t sit on the couch, because I don’t want any spills. It’s the kind of morning that drips a coffee trail behind me.

How much Christmas shopping have you done?

0% for me, but you already knew that.

Happy Friday!

Comments 11 Comments
Categories Life

Everything from Hijacked Hair-Cuts to The Plague

15 Aug

We had a whirlwind weekend and my mom was sucked into our fun. She even took an extra day off from work, so we could cram in as much craziness as possible.

Here’s our weekend in a few words…

Hijacked Hair-Cuts

Library Book Sales

Packing and Shipping Fringe Vanilla Orders

Bags of Hand-Me-Down Clothes

Orange Purses

Diet Coke with Lime

Parades

Canal Days

Too Much Candy

Walking Till Our Feet Swell

Sunshine

Coaster Cars

Yard Sales

Chicks Along The Canal

Painted Scarves and Ruffled Socks

New Recipes

Dirty Dishes

Winner & Losers

Trophies to Take Home

The Help

Church Services

Buttered Popcorn

New Aprons

Computer Scrabble

iPods

Laughter

Millipedes – The Plague

The End.

Now please tell me about your weekend.

P.S. This is probably my last post for about a week. I’ll be in Virginia, it’s for Lovers. Be well my friends!

Comments 21 Comments
Categories Life

Refashion 80′s Style, T-Shirt Tutorial

4 Aug

Perhaps this T-shirt refashion stems from my being a child of the 1980′s. I’m not sure. I am sure that I will not teach you how to put 100 slashes in the back of your t-shirt, and I will not teach you how to cut your t-shirt so it hangs off one shoulder. I’m also not wearing my hair in a side-pony, so don’t worry yet.

I am attempting to make one of these charm necklaces with my daughter tonight (Girl’s Night).

Pinterest via flamingotoes.com

Ok, so maybe you should worry.

Old School Charm

I’m totally making a grown-up version of my beloved 80′s plastic charm necklace.

At least it’s an updated version.

Like the t-shirt alteration I am going to attempt to show you today. Don’t worry. (Notice how many times I’ve said “don’t worry” already?) All you need is a pair of scissors and a sewing machine or the ability to sew a straight line.

I can’t hand sew a straight line and my sewing machine is a near-dead that doesn’t do much better; however, I gave it a shot of adrenaline and nursed it along.

Here’s the deal – we all have those unisex t-shirts that you bring home free from work or you get at sporting events. They are generally boxy and unflattering for women; however, with a quick alteration, you can love your t-shirt.

I recently picked up a bunch of t-shirts for twenty-five cents at a yard sale. They looked brand new and we always need t-shirts in my house. There’s plenty of dirty-work to go around.

Last week, I threw on one of the shirts and hated the neck. I felt like it was choking me and being strangled by a t-shirt is a terrible way to die. So, I cut the neck off.

Then I cut part of the sleeves off and the finished hem from the bottom.

Stay with me here.

I was left with a pile like this.

While I had my scissors out, I decided to take in the sides and make it fit more like a t-shirt purchased in the women’s section of a store.

My medium yard-sale shirt is on the left and my well-worn Kohl’s t-shirt is on the right.

I should have made my bed before I photographed this refashion, but I was in a hurry. Sorry.

I simply laid my good shirt over the generic shirt. See how the Kohl’s tee is curved on the sides?

I pinned it along the outer edge to give me a line to sew on.

This isn’t an exact science, so estimate.

Or measure if it makes you feel better.

I would rather throw the shirt in the trash than measure, but that’s just me.

You can cut the shirt as narrow as you’d like. I don’t like to look shrink-wrapped, so I didn’t go too narrow.

Please excuse my ironing board cover. It’s very old and stained.

Make sure your shirt is inside-out. Sew along your pinned line. My line isn’t even straight, but no worries. Then cut off the excess edge.

Now I should have taken a before and after in the same shirt, but I didn’t think of it until too late. You get the idea though. These are basically the same shirt.