Why I Took A Vacation Day to Clean

I took a vacation day today, so I can stay home and clean my house.

I can’t imagine anything more pathetic, but if I don’t get this Christmas tree down soon, I’m going to have to make hearts to hang on it.

I thought about selling the house, as is, and starting over with a clean slate, but my husband wasn’t quite on board with that plan.

At six o’clock this morning, I dragged myself out from under my twenty layers of blankets and plodded down the stairs to face the to-do list.  It took about three minutes before I went directly back to bed.  I did not pass go and pick up my paycheck.  I did not spray Scrubbing Bubbles on the shower.  I did not even remove one of the hundred ornaments hanging sadly from my dusty tree.  I just went back to bed.

My floors are textured with dirt and rock salt.

My dishes are dirty, all of them.

My plants are dead.

My sheets need washing.

My windows are … ah, forgettabout the windows.

My bathroom is a hot-house for micro-bacterial fungi of the worst kind.

My clothes are dirty, so are my kid’s clothes and my husband’s clothes.  In fact, my neighbor’s clothes are probably dirty too, but I only took one vacation day.

My hallway is a pile, just a pile.  It should be a bright, happy, clear space with twenty-seven hooks for coats and backpacks and other assorted winter gear.  Now, it’s a pile.

I don’t know what’s under the couch, and honestly, who cares?  If you wanna move my couch or any major appliances for that matter, you do so at your own risk.

There’s a science fair going on my refrigerator.  I bet I’ll win first place.

Dust – should we even talk dust?  We all know how bunnies multiply, so let your imagination run wild.  I almost feel like the bunnies are pets.  My daughter probably feeds them at night like she does the mice.

Feed the mice, you ask?

Oh, yes.  She very purposefully leaves a Cheerio in opportune mouse munching locations.  I may as well list this house on the registry for rodent rentals.  I’m happy to say we currently have vacancies.

But, for now, I’m sipping a hot cup of coffee and I’m documenting my lameness.  One day, my well-rested, energetic self will read this, and I’ll wag my head while a “tsk, tsk” sound escapes my pursed lips; however, for this moment, I’ll enjoy a minute of silence (except for the whir of the washing machine…I threw a load in before I even sipped my coffee), drink my coffee, and round up some enthusiasm for a long day’s work.

Then I’ll show that snotty to-do list who’s boss!

Bye-bye Christmas tree.  I’ll see you in eleven months.

Wish I could say the same for the dust bunnies.

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Happy Friday friends!

May your weekend be relaxing and rejuvenating.  Oh, and have a little fun too.  Kay?