Although Mondays only come once a week, sometimes I find myself stuck in the rut of living a Monday life. Thankfully these ruts don’t usually last too long. If my entire life were a Monday life, I think I’d need a shrink, sedatives, and a daily cup of calming tea…maybe spiked.
Right now I’m in a little bit of a Monday rut. Yesterday my car died. Thankfully FringeMan and I were out together or else he’d have to come rescue me and since we only have one car, it would be a terribly long bike ride for him. As it was, we had to walk several miles to purchase a new battery. Poor FringeMan lugged a battery that weighed about 70 pounds. Luckily he’s tough, because I’m not. I would have sat curbside crying until somebody carried it for me.
Things could have been much worse for us, this could have been our car.
At least we are still sticky-note free.
Anyway, I figured that walk covered my ‘work out’ time for the day and I’d never looked so good working out. I usually trudge to gym without makeup, with yesterday’s hair, and wearing paint stained sweats. This time I was working out in the cutest brown dress from Target and purple Vera Wang Egyptian type sandals. I’ve never looked so good in sweat and frizzy hair and I even managed to step over the used condom littering the sidewalk.
The rain even held off until the battery was changed and the car running. That’s a miracle!
I’m beginning to think I live in a rain forest. My kids get upset because I leave the water running while brushing my teeth. Ok, I admit it! All of New York’s water waste is from me brushing my teeth. Fish hardly have any fresh water left, frogs are going extinct, and we are in jeopardy of not being able to get 6-8 full glasses of water daily ALL BECAUSE I LET THE WATER RUN WHILE BRUSHING MY TEETH!
I think my son has convinced his teachers to set-up a camera over my sink to catch me in the act. “Hello, my name is Tricia and I’m an environmental hazard.”
The truth is I’m happy being a water waster. I’m not ready for change.
And there’s certainly no shortage of water in Long Island. It’s rained for two straight months! Not even my daughter can take enough baths to use up all our excess water. I’m thinking of investing in a boat to use for grocery shopping and the turtles are hopping puddles and ending up on my doorstep.
This little guy was waiting for us after church on Sunday.
People, I don’t even live near a pond. These turtles are becoming disoriented. They’ve mistaken roads for streams, front yards for lakes, and my doorstep for home.
My friend Jeannie, the mail order bride turned pastry chef, called me last week to share her own turtle tale. I told her to stick it in her bathtub and keep it as a pet.
I don’t take my own advice. NEVER.
I’m unsure of this turtle’s fate. I wish him all the best that turtle life offers. I do hope he finds a turtlet, produces many offspring, and lives happily ever after in a million dollar pond.
I also hope the sun starts shining soon. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve seen daylight for maybe an hour right before or after it pours for 72 straight hours.
I may go to a tanning bed with my book and a lemonade and pretend I’m at the beach.
While the vehicle problems, rain, and turtles all added much excitement to my Monday, the highlight was when FringeKid came home from school.
First, I want you to know that I have no idea who she takes after. The glasses, the lei, the bracelets and polka dots….you’d never catch me wearing anything even remotely similar.
Second, behind the stars in her eyes was a headache, runny nose, and fever. She’s in isolation. I locked her in the shed.
She’s cuddled on the couch with her pillow, blankets and dog watching a Fragle Rock DVD FringeMan brought home from the library last night.
Since I’ve spent so much time sitting in doctor’s waiting rooms, I’m nearly a medical professional and I diagnose quite well; however, I’m hoping I won’t have to diagnose this one. There’s swine flu, strep throat, and fifth’s disease going around her school. I’m guessing it’s not strep throat because her throat doesn’t hurt. I told you, I’m good. I’m hoping it’s fifth’s disease because she’s had it twice and it’s really no big deal. I’m praying it’s not swine flu because I hate hearing my children oink.
Thank God today is NOT Monday!