Saturday landed me in the laundromat. It wasn’t an all too terrible experience. Besides the machines eating coins faster than I could dig them up from under the car seat (and from pockets of old coats and in-between couch cushions), it was nice to have all the laundry washed, dried, and folded in about two hours, give or take an hour since I don’t own a watch.
Usually I am doing laundry
every waking minute of my life almost every day. I know some people pile it all up and save it for a once-a-week marathon, but my washer tends to leak and it would be a full-on flood if I did twenty loads in one day. Besides one of us is always running out of something, especially FringeMan. I doubt he has enough work pants and sweatshirts to make it through a week. So, I wash often, until my dryer died an untimely death and forced me to the laundromat.
I can only hang so many clothes in my house to dry before I get claustrophobic and feel like I’ve been sent to a sudsy purgatory. Because the weather was cold and dreary, outside was not option. It’s really never an option since I have nowhere discreet to hang clothes. I doubt my neighbors want our undergarments waving in their windows. Know what I mean? We just don’t have much of a yard.
All those words and I could have just said, Saturday I went to the laundromat. Why you stick with me, I’ll never understand, but I do appreciate.
So while I’m in the laundromat twiddling my thumbs and keeping my children from using a wayward sock they found as a slingshot to sail quarters through air, I thought how nice it would be to have multiple washers and dryers in my house. I mean, imagine… not one, but two commercial size loaders whipping the dirt from clothes faster than you fill the hamper…it’s almost as good an idea as hiring a housekeeper. Ok, not really, but it’s still a good idea. Too bad Sears doesn’t have a two-for-one sale.
Sears, do hear me? Your washers and dryers are too expensive! Can I become a product tester or something? We have lots of dirty clothes.
After I finished fantasizing about super-capacity red washers, I thought about how lucky I am to have a washer and dryer. I could be walking to a creek to beat the body odor out of my son’s gym socks. Praise the good Lord for modern conveniences!
Then I thought that in the olden days people wore their clothes multiple times before washing. I mean, they must have. They didn’t have many clothes to rotate. My mind kept thinking. I couldn’t stop it. They only bathed once a week and I doubt they had deodorant. Good heavens! They must have stunk like dirty dogs in the rainy season.
I know what my son smells like after gym class and I force him to bathe daily, against his better judgement. Imagine if we only bathed once a week? Our furniture would smell like toe jam and armpits. I have a terrible sense of smell and still, I think I would die of olfactory overload. No amount of candles can cover week-old rot.
So this morning when I woke up to find the hamper full. I did not even complain. I just pushed the pile of clothes down as far as they’d go and determined to buy a bigger hamper.
I’ve decided I like laundry – clean, folded, and waiting to wear.